My little sister is doing something wrong

I came home from school for the weekend and I was stunned to see my little sister (9) in her room with the massager my dad bought. She said she was massaging her stomcah which I believed cuse I didn't see the device move from where it was in her stomach from under her thin blanket. I hoped she was telling the truth but the next time I found her doing it she'd moved it from her lower area. Through the weekend I've observed her locking herself in our parents room (Their room is the only one with a key) and everytime she opens the door again the massager is always there, plugged into their extension cord cause I took mine back from her room. Like most strict christian households we don't discuss embarassing issues but I know that if I tell my parents about this they're going to start monitoring everyone's social media and probably cut off our wifi too. I don't even know where she picked this from cause my parents confiscated her and my little brothers tablets and haven't been paying the wifi subscription. So it might've been one of her classmates. Don't get me wrong I know that this is a perfectly normal thing for people to do but I expect this to start in her teen years so I plan to hide the massager before I leave for school. I don't know what to do cause if I confront her about it then my parents will probably find out and I'll be in trouble for not telling them. I can't tell my older sister cause then she'll tell my parents and if I hide it and it's found it'll look like I deliberately hid it wasn't just missplaced.

Thanks for your patience, someone will be with you asap. :)

Hi ISJD, "Like most strict christian households we don't discuss embarassing issues" Can`t one keep ones intrinsic Christian values AND move with the times? This is a very Victorian attitude, actually, which religion can't be blamed for. Allowing people to be human and develop or grow curious at their own rate, with open, frank, honest discussions (if needed), is what you'd expect from Christianity, isn't it? In fact, doesn't labelling the natural, "shameful" fit more with Catholicism? "but I know that if I tell my parents about this they're going to start monitoring everyone's social media and probably cut off our wifi too." Why do you have to tell your parents that your 9-year-old is an early developer or just experimenting? If she weren't ready for that, it wouldn't do enough for her and she wouldn't repeat it - yes?...logical? Why? Isn't her private business, anyway? Does Christianity recommend people not having normal personal boundaries? Do your diaries get read as well? Sounds like it, doesn't it. "I don't even know where she picked this from cause my parents confiscated her and my little brothers tablets and haven't been paying the wifi subscription. So it might've been one of her classmates." Or just natural instinct to start to get to know how an adult body behaves and functions? Maybe it's her self-medication (it works) for releasing Period Tension and Pains? A stress-reliever? Why don't you just do the usual, big-sisterly thing and, in privacy and promising absolute confidentiality, ask her of all this? If it feels too cringy, although it shouldn't if you're suitably close, then I recommend lying beside her, chatting, after lights-out, so you can't see each other and can be totally 'yourselves'? Ideally, you shouldn't be ascribing to any religion until you're an adult and can decide for yourself, which road to Heaven/wherever, is the one that suits your brand of goodness the most? YOU talk to her and then she won't be punished for being human, and nor will you and your brother alongside - and for WHAT?...She can't help what's happening to her and she's programmed to be curious. Don't whatever you do, let her grow up with a guilt-complex about - BASICALLY - what nature wants you to do once you're societally of-age and in-love with a man so much you want HIM to be co-chef in making a little baby. Nature made it rewarding so that we'd keep doing it. Or else none of us would still exist. Meanwhile, she's like an amateur but advanced ice-skater. Looks ridiculous clomping around on her skates outside of the rink, but - thanks to all that practice - once she gets ON the ice.... I know YOU get it. But why don't your parents? Have THEY got sexual hang-ups that TIME (featuring societal updating and improving) somehow HASN'T healed? There were girls at my middle school who despite still facially 9/10, had actual breasts and hips already. Some weren't bothered while others suddenly started trying to act all precociously like grown women. One came to school in Red stilettos and got immediately sent home again. (There be paedophiles out there, is their thinking..and, we need conformity to keep control.) But anyway, I appreciate that you're worried in case she got the idea off the internet. But, if you ask neutrally, making it clear you're just worried about her safety - AND tell her any secret of yours from your adolescence - you might be surprised to see her very grateful to be able to put paid to, probably...highly likely at only 9..., her OWN confusion and SELF-recriminations. Then - *IF* there's anything your parents need to know that she's failing to tell them, i.e. she's been internet groomed or got to watch porn with schoolfriends, or anything that could threaten her normal, mental-emotional-sexual development/welfare - THEN you can mention it (without needing to go into any detail, just, 'I suspect she's masturbating but can't tell if she's just an early-developer that way or has been given ideas by someone old enough to know better, i.e. iffy). To your mum first(?) (Which one keeps calmest, is more pragmatic, and takes things more in their stride?) In confidence (you swear them to it first...I've got something to tell you, but first you have to promise you won't over-react, because it could be 'something and nothing'). Then, if there IS any need to guide or educate her, NOW your mum can go up to her bedroom to have a quiet talk to her (give her the in-the-dark tip (and NOT turning them on again after) if she doesn't know it already). Find OUT if there's an issue before everyone over-reacts to the purely natural, human-developmental thing. If your parents can't handle that - in this day and age- then, crikey...Maybe you should sit THEM down and explain how and why YOU got here! :D Have you not started that way yet, then? Where's your mind taken YOU first? Into preparing for your career? How old are you, if you don't mind my asking (you're completely anonymous). Anyway, hope that helps. And you ARE a good sister already - within confinements not of your own placing, obviously - because you've gone to ALL this bravery and effort to check with your elders first. Well done. :))))) But it does mean, I know you can do it and do it sensitively and tactfully. Enjoy the amazing amount of fast-tracked BONDING it'll achieve between you and she. And trust me - life's hard enough without your first-ever, original best same-sex friend to swap gossip and 'secrets' with. Please don't deprive yourself, a brilliant sibling relationship is SO important. More so as you grow-up.

PS: a parent doesn't NEED to cut-off your wifi. There are Parental Control mechanisms these days so THAT kids can't see/know about stuff they're not mentally ready for.

The main point is that Christianity is very much against self gratification and I don't even know what my parents might do if they were to find out even in school it was termed as something only 'sexual deviants' participated in, heck my parents wouldn't let us play with our neighbours kids when I was younger cause one of them kissed me. Yes, I know that this can be done to relieve stress but it's the device that she's using that makes me believe that this was done with some outside interference cause before she didn't even bother with the massager. My family never really shared personal things when I was younger and even now I find it difficult to have an emotional connection with anyone and when one of my friends described our relationship as 'co-workers' I realised that's exactly how it is with my parents too. We have an 8 year age difference so most of her life my focus has been making sure she doesn't end up a fudged up human so believe me when I say I don't want her to feel ashamed about something she can't control but I just can't have vulnerable conversations. I'm 17 and no I don't. Also if I did tell her about my crushes and secrets I'd end up being disowned.

The main point is that Christianity is very much against self gratification and I don't even know what my parents might do if they were to find out even in school it was termed as something only 'sexual deviants' participated in, heck my parents wouldn't let us play with our neighbours kids when I was younger cause one of them kissed me. Yes, I know that this can be done to relieve stress but it's the device that she's using that makes me believe that this was done with some outside interference cause before she didn't even bother with the massager. My family never really shared personal things when I was younger and even now I find it difficult to have an emotional connection with anyone and when one of my friends described our relationship as 'co-workers' I realised that's exactly how it is with my parents too. We have an 8 year age difference so most of her life my focus has been making sure she doesn't end up a fudged up human so believe me when I say I don't want her to feel ashamed about something she can't control but I just can't have vulnerable conversations. I'm 17 and no I don't. Also if I did tell her about my crushes and secrets I'd end up being disowned.

WHAT THE HECK?! That's not a family, that's a CULT! Disowned!!!???? *gobsmacked* Okayyy. Say no more. Jeez, no wonder you had to come on here! (I'm so sorry.) I'll give this a lot more thought, come up with something more delicate/surreptitious than that (not got enough time right now, sorry). Although - is there no way you can sneak a peek at her Personal History? If you're genuinely concerned she's in jeopardy from and under outside influences, then, privacy be damned - what she can't know can't hurt her. Can you? And take a mobile phone photo of it if you find anything concerning? A good pre-test would be to tell her your gadget's acting-up, please could you borrow hers for no more than, "saaay", 30 minutes, because you need to see X (and actually open a page on X while you just scan her History)?

Which COUNTRY are you in (and rough region if it's applicable)??? PS: Go into your History and delete this forum link. Every time. Ok? And well done you for having stayed so sane! KU.....DOS! And only 17 (pff - 25 more like) (...little wonder).