I cheat on my husband p. 2

Hello, This is connected to thread: https://www.peoplesproblems.org/showtopic/12835/i-cheat-on-my-husband which I posted about 3 years back. In short: I was cheating on my husband with a younger man. I was doing it purely for the pleasure of sex. Things back then "fixed" themselves by having my secret lover go abroad for his master's degree. I went back to my husband and although things were not the same, because I knew what I've done, I managed to keep the marriage and relationship together. He did not understand about my affair. Initially I was miserable that I lost the other man. I thought I've developed feelings for him and wanted to do and have more with him. Then, things changed when he left. Until last year, when he returned to the country. After getting back, he reached out to me. I was surprised that he still remembered me. He wanted to meet me. At first I felt shaky and worried. My heart was beating fast, my whole body was tense. But I agreed to meeting him on the next day. I was so nervous, that my husband noticed it, and he is usually not good at noticing such things. When he asked me what it was, I told him it's women stuf. It works usually for getting away with other moods. The next day I went at his place. I had so much going on in my mind, and I wanted to talk so much with him. When he saw each other, all words were gone. We couldn't speak much. We had sex! Twice! I feel dirty admitting it now, though being online in front of strangers. He told me he missed me. Stupid me responded that I missed him too. He told me he was going to stay for 3 more days and he wanted to see me every single one. As my husband was usually busy in the evenings in the gym with clients, we met after work and I stayed with him till late in the evening. I lied to my husband that I was meeting an old schoolmate, who was back from abroad for a week. On the last day, I skipped work and went to be with him all day, as his flight was going to be in the evening. When I got home, I cried a lot. Because I lost him again, and who knew when I would see him again. And because I hide it from my husband and lied to him. He did not deserve it. He's a rough, tough man, but also has a huge heart. A month later, my secret lover found me in social media app. We were chatting almost every day. I felt again like a teenager with him. Months went by like this. I felt him closer, although we were living apart in different countries. We got to know a lot about each other and shared a lot of our secrets. He came two more times to the country, once we met, the other time we couldn't, as I had family emergency. Now, what's gone wrong is that this guy proposed to me to move with him abroad. He already settled down. When he went to study the master's degree, he got a job. He raised a lot in it. So he felt confident enough to live with the girl of his dreams, and this was me. At first, I reminded him about my husband. It seemed this was not a worry for him. He said that divorces happened all the time, plus this is one of a time opportunity. I do not have a stable job here, while he found a few positions there that would be suitable for me. I just need to go. The problem is that I want to do it. I know I've been married for 8 years, but once the other guy came back and expressed his persistent interest in me, my feelings grew for him. I don't love my husband the way I loved him when we married. I surely care about him, and wish him the best, but I perceive him as a friend now. I don't see same feelings in him either as in our first years of the relationship. I don't know... I might be doing the most stupid choice in my life, but I feel I belong with the other guy and want to go and live with him. I just need help how to tell my husband. I already shared this whole story with my best friend and with my sister, got their opinions. But I need more opinions about the way to introduce my decision to my husband that I am leaving him. And that I'm not doing the wrong thing. Any suggestions would be appreciated, even if you tell me bad things!

Girl you gotta follow your heart, but make sure you bring your brain. If the relationship really is at a dead end or declining you can consider this new opportunity, but be prepared for all the hardships that come with moving so far. You would most likely be leaving your entire social network and everything you've known. Mostly just that the relationship with your current husband will be nearly destroyed. I would sit with this for as long as is possible and consider all the downfalls in your marriage in order to present them to him when the time is right. Idk of it would smart to tell him your real plans, maybe even wait to move after the (potential) divorce. Just explain that your heart isn't truly in it like it used to be and you know his isn't either. Be sure that he's heard in the discussion and understood. Be there for him as much as possible because it will probably be absolutely devastating Also take into account what you have with Mr. Affair. Was there a real connection at first, or was it just sex? Is he a safe person for you? How long have you known him and how well? Can he provide for you mentally, physically, and financially (while you get your footing in his country)? Most importantly are you ready to spend your life or most of it with him and in that country? I hope this helps even a little and that you think very hard on this! Much love to you in whatever happens. (Get that d hehehe)