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I am involved with a married man

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I am involved with a married man. I am a 25y/o women who has been approached by one of the colleagues 35y/o. He is married and has 2 kids. I do not have any feelings for him bt he does. He was pretty clear about it as well. And he do not want to harm me or create any problem in his wife's life as well. He just want to talk and spend time. Sometime if I give permission then wants to touch me as well. Thus today we went together for work and he looked so lonely and utterly lost that I took a leap of faith and let him touch me. But now I'm feeling really guilty about it. Since from the very beginning I didn't want to be involved with married man. What should I do? I know I did wrong but I don't know what to do. Can some give me a different perspective because now I feel like I'm a slut!!

I am involved with a married man

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Yeh trust me I was involved with a married man, who said they were separated 🤦🏻‍♀️ it’s only heartbreak from here on out. Stay clear! It’s not your problem if he is unhappy or wants you or anyone else. He literally wants his cake and eat it too. No he will never leave his wife, no matter how crazy he says he is over you. Raise the bar and your standards, do you really want to be the woman who helped break up a family? You say you have no feelings yet you let him touch you? Just for goodness sake just tell him to get lost or you’ll be having words with his wife!

I am involved with a married man

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Sorry to come in so late, AKI. Not only do I agree with Lil, but, FYI this is Office Harrassment AND Sexual Harrassment. If you can't face having a talk with him where you draw clear boundaries ('I've had time to think and I've decided - you're married so we can only be platonic, friendly, office colleagues from now on. Plus, from my side - I have a steady boyfriend'. Don't worry about lying. His constant trying-it-on and ignoring how YOU feel about it and the limits you've ALREADY tried but 'failed' so set, makes lying to him perfectly sensible, intelligent and in this context comes under Self-Defence (in the jungle, like the animal he is, where the gloves come off). BUT BEFORE you do this (important!), report your concerns to your boss or the HR manager if you have one. Also, the whole episode is now recorded here, so, ultimately, there'll be no denying it possible on his part. And you could even save this thread as your custard-pie in his face in front of your manager (and preferably one other at least)... "EVIDENCE A to Z and everything in-between, YOUR HONOUR! (slam print-out onto table)'. ALSO, you have power over him for the fact he's married and you could tell his wife. And his bosses. HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE *WORKING*, NOT USING THE WORKPLACE AS HIS OWN, PERSONAL, ILLICIT-CRUISING GROUND! PS: if ever a bloke grabs you, plant your lips on the middle his neck and suck for all you're worth. And you can bite if you like. Nice giant hickey (and suspiciously heavy bitemark) for his wife to spot the minute he gets home. You can't be friends with someone who thinks you're a bowl of candy he can help himself to, especially when he vowed in front of a whole churchful of people to never commit adultery. I doubt his wife or kids are having a nice time. He's demonstrated ON SO MANY LEVELS, more than those I've mentioned, that he's nothing but a disrespectful, misogynistic, uncaring, ANTI-bonding, greedy, shockingly over-entitled, Narcissist-Predator, looking for someone to help him put his wife back in her psychological cage. Furthermore, he might feel threatened by you and your skills/work performance and is trying to engineer a situation where you choose to leave? But in these cases, the sex bit is just the cherry on the top of what ACTUALLY is... he gets a huge kick and ego-boost by hunting and taking down WOMEN. This is just Bullying under the pithy cover of fancying you. All you did wrong was not know how the hell to deal with something that you'd never encountered and had to deal with before so haven't a clue how (too nervous to think, too), and that shouldn't ever have been done to you nor should exist, especially not in the workplace or from one adult to another, younger...which reminds me. Ten years your senior and then some, given there's a huge difference between 25 and all the way to 35. What is he - a ruddy paedophile, trying to stay in the Grey area? (Are you girlie-looking, petite, for example?) What a nasty git. I hope his wife and kids find out and leave him (see Lily31's thread). Clearly that's what's going on...well, either the wife is ignoring his nonsense nowadays (emotionally disconnected from him, staying for the kids) and he wants to frighten her to-attention and subjugate her and/or can tell she's actually gearing-up to calling it quits. And just because he thinks he can, is above the normal rules of social civility and conduct and can help himself to whatever he pleases. Ugh.

I am involved with a married man

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PS: A sl*t would be enjoying it, not asking for help on a forum. See the differencio? Relax. :) You're the victim (soon to be survivor here). (They really are fecking everywhere, nowadays; it's really worrying.)

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