Keeps looking

Went to an outdoor pool with my husband. Four women were in there and about 30 years old and some mums and dads with there kids. I saw my husband look in the women’s direction a few times and over my shoulder at them which upset me as he was there to have fun with me. I asked if he knew them and he said he didn’t and said, Your not doing this again are you. He denies he looked at them and said I had ruined another day. It’s ok for him to ruin my day and make me feel I’m not good enough when out with him. This is not the first time he has done this with looking at women. When we were having a meal with our grown up son ages ago he was looking at another women who was looking over and again she looked young. On holiday ages a go he was looking at another women but said he was looking at the food that was getting bought out and was not looking at her. Yet he had a smirk on his face when he was looking in her direction. He was looking at a woman who was wearing a low cut top showing her breast and he kepted looking at her even thou she was with a bloke. He is 57 and I’m 53. It’s so embarrassing for me when he does it because these women must love the attention and knowing he is with me yet continues to do it. I look at men but I don’t keep looking at them. He tells me he loves me and his committed to me and us but why does he do it then. I told him it’s normal to look at the opposite sex and think there nice but you dont keep looking and this is what he does and keeps looking and has done quite a few times when I’m out with him. I think he wants someone younger but he says he doesn’t and isn’t doing anything and it’s all on my head. I suggested relate as we have been with them before many times and he said, oh here we go again and he said I need it not him but he will put his side of the story to them. I don’t think he has any respect for me and I’ve told him what it does to me but I still see him looking. It hurts me and makes me feel I’m ugly and not good enough. My sister once said, doesn’t he stare a lot and it’s true. He hasn’t stopped in all these years. He says he does not want another woman and has not cheated on me ever but I have my doubts. I found date sites years ago and confronted him about them. He says it wasn’t him and his phone must of been hacked. I’ve never heard so much shit in all my life. I think he does not like it that I know he looks at women in front of me and because I pull him up about it he does not like it and that’s why he does not want to really speak to relate again. Also yesterday we had a meal out and I was talking nicely to him then he says What, in a horrible tone that he as used quite a few times. I thought he said it because he did not hear me properly but it’s the tone of his voice. He said he did not say it like that. I think he likes to belittle me and talk me down to think he is in control. We have regular sex and I dress up and keep myself nice as best I can. I know I don’t like quite a few things about myself but I know it’s not all in my mind when he looks at these women . If I look at men he’s not bothered and does not get jealous or hurt like I do. My husband is over weight, average height and going grey so he’s no stunner. We are sleeping separate and have done for the past four days. he comes home he gets all angry because we are seeing relate again and said we are back to square one again. Maybe if he stopped what he is doing with looking at other women then things might be good so I don’t think it’s all my fault. Should I turn a blind eye to his looking around or not?

TOTOY, don't panic - I or someone will be with you just as soon as humanly possible (bit under-'staffed' at the mo.) Feel free to search and read other posts current and past by category 'Relationships' (or Emotional) to see if you can find any thread problems similar to your own (50 quid says you will) (that's all I can say for now, having only read your title and up to 'over my shoulder', as I personally don't like to read ahead in-one until and as I'm replying). I can see you've come to the right place, in other words, and I can see you're in a state. Relaxez-vous. We eat naughty boys (and few girls) for breakfast. And I'm sure MANY here presently have been in your boat.

(You're next. :) Just bumping you up for tomorrow. (It's 6am here so I've got to hit the hay or I'll be too useless.)