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for the past couple of years, i have been unemployed and i cant seem to get any help from family. I am also working with someone professionally and she isnt resolving the issue. She just suggest to keep working with the company she works at and to be more patient. This is not helping me get anywhere and im ready to give up. ive also got a sibling in the mix who doesnt want me doing anythning- working , moving out or driving. i feel suffocated, please help im 28 years old. This sibling of mine is pushing me to go to therapy and isnt really talking to me about what the issues are, the least she could do is listen.

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Im starting to run out of ideas to on where to get help. Ive tried the county, disability organizations , different family members, could it just be a matter of time of waiting for this stuff to happen?

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Hi ICanBuy..., I'm so sorry that no-one's been available to answer your post; respondents are thin on the ground, lately, compared to posters (I myself would have responded by now but I've had internet problems and now I've got guests, so it'll be a case of making time tomorrow). However, with this type of 'old-fashioned' forum, you and those in the queue with you are at liberty- in fact, supposed to respond to one another first and foremost (and PS all three of you are getting this same message). If not - someone will be with you asap.

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Hi again! You've been really patient - thanks! :) "for the past couple of years, i have been unemployed and i cant seem to get any help from family." Can you go into this in full detail, please? "I am also working with someone professionally and she isnt resolving the issue. She just suggest to keep working with the company she works at and to be more patient." Sorry, I'm straight-away confused. You're unemployed yet working 'with someone, professionally'? Isn't resolving WHAT issue? Sorry - would need a much fuller picture over this, too. "This is not helping me get anywhere and im ready to give up." Give up what? "ive also got a sibling in the mix who doesnt want me doing anythning- working , moving out or driving." Younger sibling? Why doesn't she? "i feel suffocated, please help im 28 years old." Will do. "This sibling of mine is pushing me to go to therapy and isnt really talking to me about what the issues are, the least she could do is listen." Again - this is all too vague. I'm going to need you to go into far greater detail, starting with what your family set-up is like, and your relationship with your sister? As long as you remember your paragraph breaks so I don't go cross-eyed - be as lengthy as you like. The WHOLE picture as you know and see it. There's obviously a thorn or two in your side so let's precisely locate it and pluck the ugger out.

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For anyone else's info: Here's the link to your other thread (after all, it's all connected): https://www.peoplesproblems.org/showtopic/13711/sad-about-ex

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I've created a diversion on "Sad about ex" to here as this is now your thread. BTW, Flowers, thanks mucho for responding to the other posters. Good replies! :) (PS: Hope you don't mind me calling you Flowers? Say if you do?)

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(From other thread entitled Sad About Ex: "How do i get my ex back? Hes married to someone else now and the girl he married was bullying me. Do i just give up and get over it? i feel like leaving this town because i dont want to be the butt end of the world anymore to people." The woman he married, bullying you, is highly characteristic, but - what was her and his so-called reason? "I just feel out of options. thats why im sad. I know i tried hard to be a better girl for him too." This is highly characteristic (him), too. "Shes such a jerk. She got some people to seriously hate me." As is this. In fact, it's an old chestnut. I'll explain later. For now I'm awaiting an emergency plumber....been up all night, had a bloody gushing outdoor pipe for hours (not exactly relaxing) - none of the google-listed so-called Emergency Plumbers in my region even answered their bloody phones; the plumber who's coming isn't even a 24/7 one, he just took pity on me (but not enough to come immediately - I rang him at 3am....Garden landslide, here I come ...hopefully not, wish me luck. But - that's Spain for ya. Nothing works, it just appears to. Meh-o! But - you've got to be philosophical and trusting of Fate in these unexpected events and circumstances or you'll just end up blowing a gasket. Could be a blessing in disguise for all I know... finally get my a*se into gear over renovating my pool terrace...DUNNO. But - as applies to your situation (religious or not - I'm just spiritual, myself): "Let go and let God" ('handle it'). One thing I've learned in life is Darwin's truism, which is that you either adapt (which takes acceptance) or (metaphorically in this) perish. These episodes and rough patches are usually like going to the dentist: scary, uncomfortable, power-stripping/vulnerable-making...but worth it in the end. You come out with stronger, far more impressive gnashers. :) And the second thing in life I've learnt is: you beeping need strong gnashers. (Hope I haven't surpassed your English comprehension but just tell me if you don't understand anything I've said.)

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And this was 'the usual suspect' in terms of the long lead-up to the above Old Chestnut event and outcome, too: (And don't you know it, which is why you mentioned it in your opening sentance...second-to-top billing) "for the past couple of years, i have been unemployed and i cant seem to get any help from family." Beepstards. What's up with THEM, then?! Roger - Over?

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...although, I should mention... "second-to-top billing" Like a psycho-emotional office In-Tray: the A4 emotional sheet underneath is actually more important/pressing. Meaning: Top billing.

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Here - just quickly: Tell me if your mind goes 'ping' at any point... or 'pingety-ping' all the way through, as in, provides the missing pieces and thereby FITS with what's behind all that's been going on with his behaviour (then hers due to her trust/gullibility in "HisStory"), as you read this (it's a 'nutshell-ing' by what sounds like a narc-ex-victim-now-survivor on Quora): __________________________________________________________________ QUESTION: Why does a narcissist tell his new supply that the previous victim is an abuser and narcissist? (RESPONSE:) Joey Uzi · Follow M.B.A in Master of Business Administration Degrees, Brandman University (Graduated 2018)Updated 10mo Plenty of reasons. They are just doing what they have always done; talking down to others about a person doesn't start at the discard; it’s starts during the relationship. Possibly even the whole time, putting people down and being better then them is their specialty. They hate you; they will never miss an opportunity to make you look bad hurt or smear your name. They love hurting you. Because someone has to be blamed for the failure of a relationship and it isn’t going to be them. Some say they actually believe that they are the victims but personally I think that's BS; they are selfish not stupid. People like to believe that their is some human inside that would admit understanding the common sense that they created this shit storm. They are mentally incompetent to understand the consequences of their actions because of a mental deformity. BS since when does a narc ever admit to anything? Plus they know damn well what’s right or wrong because when you do something they are all over it. Even before you do anything they are warning you not to accusing you of, they know very well what they do and what they are they just don’t care enough to come clean. It’s in a narcs best interest to live within the lie; coming clean, “getting something off their chest”, realization those things only matter to someone with a conscience. makes them not look so bad when they cheat: it’s ok to cheat you treat them like shit. Your horrible. makes the new person the “hero” saving them from the crazy ex. __________________________________________________________________ I agree completely that, at Personality Disordered aka Malignant level, Narcissists are mentally deformed/corrupted, not stupid (thus selfish, self-obsessed, to point of hurting others in their compulsion to get their way and take from you whatever they want, no matter what or who gets hurt). In essence, (google) Cluster B Narcissists have Attachment Disorder (parental neglect/unreliability/abuse) thus can't bond like kids who had healthy family life/upbringing, thus behave as they like... all because THEY DON'T CARE. Except about themselves, exclusively. They don't want that to be made public knowledge, so they "get in there" first with their new Primary Supply (who's at the point where she's being made to believe she's his soulmate) over how YOU were the problem one (and while he's acting like an angel, she has no reason not to believe his fake victim story)...because otherwise, you two might get the chance to chat...and (truth outs) discover lies and discrepancies aaaand realise that he's a cold-hearted, manipulative, user who's only after stealing (this case - ) women's joie de vivre, health, even wealth (manipulating YOU to pay for that meal/whatever). And that you're BOTH, EQUALLY, his prey (and emotional punching-bag and servant and ego-plumper and-and-and...). Any Pings?

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I suspect he's either a Covert or Sociopath in exclusively Covert mode while still (google) fake "Love-Bombing". Either of those wouldn't do it themselves, they'd manipulate the newbie to do it FOR them. THAT way, if they DO decide they want to abandon/traumatise her by leaping back to you (google "Narcissist - Hoovering" and "Narcissistic boyfriend - Triangulation with the new Supply" (or some such). They manipulate the unwitting victim in such a way whereby, not only does she hate you (out of empathy for him) but, how strongly she shows it (in her mind) just PROVES to him how much she's in-love with him and would always protect him, never attack him like (haha!) "you did". Which is more than galling and enfuriating - it's downright whacko. This scenario (you obviously being left without adequate closure; the newbie ACTIVELY (unwittingly) hating and slandering the already abused/bullied Ex, doesn't tend to ever occur in normal relationships with normal-healthy romantic partners. SHE might think they're married. But I doubt he does. It's just a bit of paper but which makes her work and invest that much HARDER - on TOP of having to BE THE OPPOSITE of how "dissatisfactory" or "downright bullying" he's made out YOU are. You just ignore her...She knows not what she does. And grieve him out (you can do it on here, we can support you). And, because of it, come out automatically upgraded AND FAR MORE ALLURING THAN EVER. TO NORMAL-HEALTHY MEN. Little Miss Slanderer is 'you'. So you know what's in-store of HER, don't you. (That'll teach her not to believe based on only one side of the story.)

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(Sorry - not 'surpassed' your comprehension - 'Bypassed' (duh).................Sleeep, need sleeeeeep....)

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