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So hurt that my adult kids are excluded from family event

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Went to a family bar mitzvah. The first grandchild of my closest sister which I refer to as sister 2. I was told by my nephew who is giving the event that no cousins are invited when the invites went out since my kids didn't receive an invite. Then I found out when going to the event that my other sister (1), kids and grandkids were all invited. I refer to her sister one. I was invited with a guest so I thought of bringing my son who is single and alone, but before I did so I asked my nephew if cousins were invited, at which point he told me they were not to keep the numbers down. Then I talked to my sister number one and said to her I don’t know whether to bring my son or not because I don’t wanna hurt any of the other cousins feelings since I understand none of them are invited. The only thing she told me was that sister number 2 son wife and two kids were invited and then she went into this long explanation of why they were invited. However, she never mentioned sister number 1's other son and wife being invited (stepchildren). So I brought my son and my daughter and son-in-law were excluded. However, when I walked into the event, sister number 1's children and grandchildren were all there. Conveniently, my nephew never told me about this and lied and also conveniently my sister 2 never told me about it since she only mentioned a few of them. I was shocked and very upset and I saw my sister number 2 when I walked in and I said wow, congrats but it seems like certain cousins made the cut; she walked away and started asking my son what's wrong with your mother? He said he was staying out of it. Now I shouldn’t have said that, but I was so upset and shocked that I was lied to by my nephew and sister 2. I tried to make up with my sister at the event and she says she really loved me but seems really mad at me really what did they expect? I was attending the party so I was going to find out either way. Why was I lied to and I feel so hurt. Am I being oversensitive? By the way, my niece is sister number two daughter, told me she was upset that both of my kids and my son-in-law were excluded particularly since sister number 1's and grandchildren were included.

So hurt that my adult kids are excluded from family event

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it seems I was the only one concerned about the other family members' feelings and no one else gave a crap. they couldn't even be honest with me so I didn't walk into the event feeling total betrayed.

So hurt that my adult kids are excluded from family event

ALEXLEEE profile image
Hey, this situation sounds like a real mess. Family drama can be so tough, especially when it involves big events like a bar mitzvah. It's totally understandable to feel hurt and confused about being excluded and lied to. It might help to try and talk things out with your family members. Maybe there was a misunderstanding or miscommunication that led to this situation. Either way, it's important to take care of yourself and your feelings. Surround yourself with supportive people who can help you through this rough patch. Remember, it's okay to feel upset, but try not to let it consume you. Family stuff can be messy, but you'll get through it. Hang in there!

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