Suicide is the only option left for me

I am a terribly mentally sick person. I am even ashamed of explaining my problem to others. I have only two options left - commit suicide or become a monk. I am a 26 year old unemployed loser who is yet to get a job. My dad is retired and it seems to shameful to rely on my 60 year old elderly dad. I have done so many terrible mistakes in the past related to my career that I cannot even reverse the damage. Now I am realizing my fault. I wish I could know the correct path to my career very early. I didn't even plan properly in my early days when I was 17-19. Nobody is going to give me employment. I have zero work experience, useless degree where I am just average and did nothing since I passed out of my graduation. I don't have the time to pursue another education and also I am not good at academics. I don't have any skill. I am perfect at nothing. I am also an insane person. I fear hardwork. I just waste my time on meaningless things and try to avoid stressful and important things related to my career. I have a bad habit of procrastination. It's sad that I lack mental toughness to stay comfortable with stress. Staying in comfort zone has blocked all opportunities for me. I also hate the idea to commute to the workplace even if it is more than 2km away from my home. If I have so much excuses, life will be vey difficult. I am a very picky, lazy, mentally weak and callous person. Living is a torture for me. There is no hope of getting a job.

Hey! Jetae!... You are NOT a loser, any more than any other (utterly loads!) of GenZs who've been coming here for the last year or more, saying EXACTLY the same thing - as if the entire world *hasn't* just been through a series of Existential traumas, no less (Covid), and *hasn't* at the same damn time been majorly, economically and psychologically disrupted by the impact and extensive ripples of (bloody) Brexit (or how it was mishandled), plus *hasn't* been feeling the impact then shockwaves of Putin's attempted destruction of Ukraine, and *hadn't* before that watched on youtube/TV the Police MURDER of George Floyd, and-and-AND-and and...! In your case - 'AND' the non-stop slog known as University! (Doooo WHAAAAAAAAT?) You're not a loser, my luv...DO not make me LAUGH - you're a little tough-cookie Survivor. So you're going to be fine, probably far better than fine considering you're the Tortiose (ref the Tortoise and Hare parable), whether you want to or not. Anyway, I personally am supposed to see to my regulars before I can attempt any newbies, but I just wanted to give you this titbit until I and/or others get the time to give you a longer response. Back asap. Meanwhile, do yourself a huge favour and watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEJN7opj-QE ((((((parental hug)))))))

Hello JETAE, The first thing i would say if force yourself to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. Doing so could result in you finding a hobby or a job that could use your time in a more meaningful manner. Secondly, for getting a job, it is not hard to find an entry level job that will take someone with experience. I got Hired at a restaurant i work At now with pretty much zero actual restaurant experience and i am Fortunate enough to make decent money while only having to work about 20 hours a week. All you have to do is show a little bit of effort and employers will see that and be happy to take you on. A lot of people are lazy at work nowadays, so when a manager sees someone with a little pep in their step and enthusiasm to work, they would be happy to have you on their team. Lastly, suicide is never the answer. I recently lost a family member to suicide and it is the worst feeling i have ever felt. Knowing you cannot talk to someone ever again, or that you may not have talked to them as recently as you wanted to just makes it even worse. When i got That phone call at 11:30 at night from my father crying telling me my grandfather shot and killed himself, i didnt Even know what to do. Don’t have people do that about you. Even though your life may not be up to par right now, there is plenty of time to get on track and turn it around. You’re only 26, you are more than capable of making the changes happen if you set your mind to it.

USFBULL27, that was a stunning response! PLEASE - STAY - do more! And this bit, as well, is to true: "A lot of people are lazy at work nowadays, so when a manager sees someone with a little pep in their step and enthusiasm to work, they would be happy to have you on their team. " And I'm sooooo sorry about your grandfather, jeezus...what can one say.... But, just as a handy heads-up, do please take into account that you're palpably much further up the post-trauma(s) Recovery Path than this extra-sensitive young man (there's a rare attribute/skill for starters, JETAE!), so he needs time to do eff-all on the outside so that practically ALL of his energy can be dedicated to his insides...mentally and emotionally sorting out what the eff this currently crazy world is all about so THAT he can know which direction to set his compass towards and take those first steps. I mean - how can one find a place for oneself amongst what is still mainly RUBBLE, with bombs STILL going off (metaphorically and literally speaking)? Some people - like your good self - are born with the incredible ability to fake it to make it when it comes to the Practical (just Nike!), but the super-empaths and very deep thinkers (like I can tell JETAE is) (he sounds like my son a couple of years back, in fact!), when they're still very young, feel they should make it on the inside before they can Make It (sense?). His brain is going a million light years per hour at the moment, far more than his own biological computer can handle as a standalone P.C., so he's realised he finally needs to network up with another, or more, biological computers (to 'borrow' their brain power for his extra heaving Mental In-Tray). Until that point, it's positively bodily paralysing. For a while. And that's perfectly okay and normal (and totally understandable, given the widespread circumstances), too. Anyway, as I say, I'll be back after I've seen to my regulars. Fancy teaming-up on this one, USF? Three brains are even better, means he'll get there even faster. I mean - that really was stunning...very powerful - had me welling up at one point! Fancy it? :)

@USFBULL27 My main concern is the money being spent on my daily commute. If the money spent on my daily commute is more than 50% of my salary, I will be really disappointed. Workplaces are likely far away from my home. I have a sick mentality of living in an utopia. I do have a wish of doing a job from home which gives me decent money. That shows how less my mental toughness is. I don't even own a laptop. In reality, it is much more difficult to find a reliable job which can be done from home. I'm also a shy person with poor communication skills. I have trouble finding out my strengths and interests.

Hi again! Just to let you know, I've informed USF on his own thread that you've answered him. Hope he's got his email/text Alerts turned on?

Hi Jetae, You okay? Do you want me and/or any other posters to answer?

I'm sorry you're dealing with a lot of hardship, however, with the economy being what it is, you are not alone. It's hard for people with degrees and credentials to find employment these days so please don't think it's just you. I know you desire to be productive and that says a lot about you. It doesn't say that you're a loser, it says you've been dealt a bad hand and you need to find your way. To get back on track you need to come up with a plan for yourself by setting short term and then long term goals. After that, you need decide how you're going to achieve these goals. Once you figure out what you want to do and come up with a strategy as to how to do it. I know it's easier said than done but the ball is in your court with whatever you decide to. Just know that all these negative things you keep telling yourself may be what is holding you back from being productive. If you tell yourself negative things about yourself enough, you'll start to believe it. Start thinking positive again, be optimistic if you have to but stop with the negative self talk. I want you to take time and write out what you want to do in your life like I said earlier, and then write down what steps you're going to take to achieve them. Make an everyday effort to accomplish something on that list of goals. If you do it enough and are consistent, you will begin to see yourself starting to slowly but surely move forward. And no matter how small the steps that you take are, they all add up in the end and will be equivalent to taking one giant leap. Get those thoughts of suicide out of your mind! You have a purpose, you just don't have a plan. Come up with your plan! Then follow it. And It will change your entire life. Don't give up!