Never expected this...

Over the last couple of months I've developed a close friendship with someone I really like...no lust and nothing physical. But when we can (about every weekend or two) we spend hours together with both of us enjoying it very much. Both of our circumstances are such that 'it can never be' and we know that - and neither of us have any intent of making it physical. No more than a shared embrace, being near and next to one another or taking one another's hand. I guess its reminiscent of young teenage love that was so innocent. She is not in a relationship. She has known my wife and kids for as long as I've known her. I've known her for several years. We've bonded in a way neither of us understand. She's 1/2 my age (20) - but very wise; Age isn't an issue at all. I feel I have a responsibility to her and her feelings to always do the right thing. We recognize the obvious - but we don't discuss it. We've both acknowledged that and acknowledge that we aren't ashamed of how we feel either and have said so. We share and acknowledge a lot of things without having to say them too. I think about her all the time...She's acknowledged as much. I get a letter from her about once a week and a phone call when she call. My wife knows she has a 'crush' on me. And the letters don't relay in any way the time we've spent together or the things we've discussed in private. She has to be careful about how it looks as well. She's Amish. And if our relationship stayed like this for ever I'd be fine with that. But the fun and excitement and being happy to see each other does have a hint of sadness with it too I think - because reality is what it is - and neither of us would ever want to do anything wrong. I told her last weekend...'even if I wasn't married, she will always be Amish.' - She loves her family - and a huge family they are. I know them too. She is very active in her family - and is all about them (as they are supposed to be). My friends I work with in the situation that brings us together have seen us spending all our time together- and none of them say anything. I have a great deal of respect among my friends. This has surprised them I'm sure - but they've not said anything - nor do we hide it. She is concerned about how things appear to other people too...their community would frown. Truth is (and NO ONE knows this) - my relationship at home as been in the shitter for over a year - and we were separated for a few months this year (that means I had an apartment and spent 1/3 of my time traveling, 1/3 at the apartment and 1/3 at the house.) I gave up the apt Sept 1. But my wife screwed me over pretty good last year. I had a real hard time with it emotionally...And there are a couple things that are still unresolved. Now my wife is being all lovey dovey and I'm not into it...I'm bitter actually. I want it to work out - but I feel like the last year was completely unnecessary. And I tried for many months for her to be reasonable and she wasn't. My friend knows I'm married - and I think there is a fine line between me enjoying all of this - and being a jerk because I'm married and enjoying all of this. Her feelings are terribly important to me. It's really thrown me for a loop. I never dreamed I would feel this way. I just pray that it never turns bitter. I never want to do or say the wrong thing and have her resent me. How do you handle real, true and good feelings between two people with very real, realities as well. How do you acknowledge the truths and deal with them. I don't feel it's fair to be anything less than open and honest and truthful about those feelings and realities.