Patience wearing thin

I met a guy a year ago and to begin we were inseparable then after a week he said he couldn't handle it and needed to cool it but still wanted to see me and stay friends. We stayed friends but it was difficult as I seemed to do all the running and lots of times he ignored my calls and texts. In November last year the relationship became intimate as he made advances but after he told me it was a mistake and he just wanted to be friends, he said he did not want a relationship with me or anybody. I began to sort out all his problems and have been there through thick and thin when he lost his job and had no money, even bought food for him and clothes. For the last four months he has been given the loan of my car as I helped to get him another job, I have also lent him money. He offers to help me with small diy jobs in my flat but it never happens. Before he started the new job he was at mine everyday and phoned me each day. He said a couple of months ago that he had become very fond of me as a friend. There has been no intimacy for nine months now and he is reluctant to let me hug him, asking me what I am doing? He works nights then goes to bed when he gets home so we are like passing ships in the night. He did say when he gets some money he will make amends and would like to take me out for a meal. I asked him where we were heading and he said if you massage it then it will never happen, backing me in a corner is the wrong way to go about it, just see how the next few months go. I was invited to a forthcoming family meal in a few months, I asked him to accompany me, he jokingly said that I just wanted to pass us off as an item to my family, I said no that is not the case and he jokingly said oh you protesteth too much. My family already know it is strictly platonic. I texted him afterwards to say if I chose to be an item with anybody then it would be with somebody who makes the same amount of effort as me and somebody who showed me care and affection, 'lets face it that if not you, you don't have it in you!' No point fooling myself and pretending it is anything other than what it is. When we are together he is great company, I really care for him and want the physical intimacy of a relationship and some affection. It is starting to really upset me and I am in tears a lot of the time. I have had two previous bad marriages and have been on my own 27 months, when I started to have feelings for him I worked away and dated other people to try to get him out of my system to no avail. Realistically my head is telling me forget it, it is totally all one sided with all the benefits on his side. He returns calls if he misses my calls but rarely phones me first and hardly answers texts and seems to come over to mine when he wants something. My car got damaged and he said he will fix it but that has not happened either and I wanted to sell it, the MOT and tax will soon be up in a few months, he says he will sort it, but he talks the talk and doesn't walk the walk. How much longer shall I wait, I just want a proper relationship.