Broken heart

Hi there, I feel really weird doing this, but I guess I thought I would give it a shot. I met a guy online a while ago, and he and I clicked right away. We both used humor in our conversations, and were kind of smart asses together. The chemistry seemed right. We were quite different, but I really liked that. Initially, the relationship was brief as he had told me after a while that he was not ready for a relationship, and that he wanted to be friends. He said he had emotional issues, blah blah blah. I didnt speak to him for a while, but he ended up contacting me again after about a week. We decided we would be friends, and I hung out with him once in a while, and it kind of became a "friends with benefits" kind of relationship. I was alright with it, given I was dating another guy, and I was pretty sure I didn't have any feelings for him whatsoever. After a few weeks, he started to tell me that he had feelings for me, and he wanted to date again. Having learned my lesson, or at least thinking I had, I told him "no", and was incredibly hesitant given what he had done to me in the past. he was pretty aggressive, and I grew to be somewhat charmed by it. He kept telling me that he had made a big mistake, and that he wanted to be with me. I was really good about avoiding his advances because I thought it was a stupid idea, but, alas, my heart got attached, I fell in love with him, and we pursued a relationship. Everything was so great. He told me he loved me, and we were inseperable. I definitely have learned my lesson about keeping my independence in relationships, so I made sure to have time away from him, and hang out with friends. He told me often he loved me. He texted me sweet things all day, every day, and we made future plans. We talked of marriage, living together, growing a garden, taking vacations, etc. He even bought me a king sized bed for my birthday! This past Sunday we got plane tickets together to go to the Bahamas for Thanksgiving. He seemed so in love with me, and would get really sad when I told him I had to go hone that evening so I could plan for the next day (I am a teacher). He did not want to see me go, and as soon as I got home, I received a text message from him saying something along the lines of how he enjoys every minute of time he spends with me, he had a wonderful weekend, and he already missed me. I had been gone a total of maybe 15 minutes. THE VERY NEXT DAY he was distant. He texted me that morning saying "Good morning, baby", and I replied a bit later saying something silly like "Top o' the morning to you, sir". We exchanged another text or 2, and I settled into my day working with my students. I was rather busy, so I did not check my phone until after work. When I looked at it, there were no messages from him, which was definitely weird...I shrugged it off, thinking he may be really busy at work, and that I would just talk to him later. The rest of the evening still had zero messages...I went to band practice, and checked my phone afterwards at 9pm...still nothing. Weird, indeed. I got worried. I forgot to mention he is a single dad with a 4 year old. I thought maybe something had happened, so I sent a text message asking if everything was ok. Nothing....I sent another one an hour later because my phone is crap, and people have been telling me they arent receiving my messages. Still nothing. Finally, I called him and left him a message. he replied with a text a short while later saying he was putting his son to bed. I figured that would take about 20 minutes or so, but I was feeling anxiety over this situation. I felt something was off. I let him know this, and asked him to call me. He did right away, and that is when he told me he didnt think he could have a girlfriend, and that he wanted to be on his own. This came only after I asked him what was going on. He was acting weird. Maybe I pushed too much. Maybe I appeared desperate. I was shocked, however, given the amazing time we have been having the past few months. We had talked about the insecurities I had over trying again with him, and he assured me he was the one afraid I would hurt him, and that he wanted the 3 of us to be a little family. Sigh...I spoke to him the next day, and he re-affirmed my worst fears: he wanted out. "I love you and care for you, but I see you as more of my best friend than my girlfriend". I thought I would die. Truly! That was the worst thing I could have heard at that moment. I felt ugly, pathetic, desperate, and definitely felt that I would never date again. I did cry to him, and tell him how much this hurt. I didnt beg for him to come back. Although upset, I was rational, told him that if he doesnt feel it, he doesnt feel it, and I told him after his requests that we still hang out and be best friends, that I just couldn't. It was too hard. I told him I want love from him, not just a friendship. I put my foot down, and just said "no". I decided after that conversation that I needed to establish some semblance of control, and decided not to contact him again. I texted him that I believed the end of the relationship was probably for the best, and that was it. He was supposed to come help me with my dog (he is really sick and can't walk), but I decided that it would be really hard for me to do that, and I I didnt want him to have the pleasure of seeing how much he hurt me. I can be really strong sometimes. Not always, but sometimes! :) Anyway, I told him he was off the hook as I had a friend coming to help me, and that was it. I didnt write anymore, and that was yesterday. Obviosuly, I have not heard from him since, and I have not attempted contact. I do love him. We have a LOT in common. I do want him back, as I love the life we had, and I love his son. Is there anything I can do to get him back? I mean, he gave me the damn "I think of you as a best friend" line...it does not seem probable at this point and time. Everyone says to just ignore him, and he will come back, but I am not so sure. I guess he has commitment issues, but I can't help thinking that he is just afraid of how good we are together, and he is scared to truly believe in love. He was married for 11 years, and his wife had an affair which ended the marriage. Am I crazy? Is there hope? Please help! Thank you, and sorry for the novel! :) Natasha