She left me...

My ex and I were together for over 2 years. We had been engaged for a third of that time and living together pretty much the whole time. The relationship had a lot of rocky moments, mainly dealing with my screwed up family, but I believed it to be the best thing that has happened to me. I thought we were great together. It was us against the world. My ex was a very aggressive woman. She is the clingy type and I was always the avoidant type and for some reason things worked out. Whenever she demanded some kind of change in my behavior, I fought, but eventually relented as I usually came to see her views on the matter. She was VERY persuasive. All my arguments were usually countered with some piece of logic. It got to the point where I would make so many allowances because I believed that I was doing it to make her happy and her happiness kind of became my life. Of course, in hindsight this doesnt seem like a very healthy way to live, but I loved her. I chose to open my heart and make a comittment--something that I have never really done as an adult--and to make my life, OUR life. Now my family have made things really difficult. She absolutely despises them and they feel the same in kind. It made things so hard for the both of us. I eventually cast away my family and chose her. I believed in my heart that it was not the right thing to do, but I made the choice because I saw a future of happiness with her. She has spent so much time of our relationship explaining to me the importance of a healthy couple. All of the things that make it great! I thought I was being that guy. I am a great guy. I loved her with all my heart and I NEVER pointed out all the little things that I didn't like about her. That is who she is and I loved her with or without them. Not the same for her. I could never get it right. As soon as I accomplished some great thing, it was something else I wasn't doing right. Recently, she met some guy and became GREAT friends right away. Chatting and hanging out often in a very short time after meeting him. She would tell me what was going on and I was happy that she had a friend... but then I started to recognize the signs. Everyone who has experienced this knows when a woman is considering cheating on him or has already done it. In less than a week after she met this guy, I became concerned and questioned her about it. She then proceeded to break up with my stating that she has been thinking about it for a long time now. WHAT!? I guess she hid it well. She maintains that the guy is just a friend and has nothing to do with how she feels. We broke up, I moved out. Very painful stuff going on. In less than a week, this guy's car is parked where I used to park. When I'm getting the rest of my stuff, she says, yeah they are dating now--went on one date she says--and she didnt leave me for him, just bad timing. WTH. To go from future plans of house and children and always being together, to your family is screwed up and you have issues and we have no future. I just don't get it and my heart is breaking that last little bit. Don't know what to do. I have severed ties and now I try to move on. It has been 3 weeks.

Oh hell Im so sorry this is happening to you. My partner and I were together for over 3 years. We had been having problems and like you I thought I had adjusted and gave/changed to accommodate for us. last month he suddenly decided we were finished, packed up over the weekend and just left. I'm still so cofused have attempted to reconncile etc. Still struggling with the 'what the...I have been reading everything I can on relationships to help understand. The best book I have come across so far is Why marriages suceed or fail by John Gottman. Has been so informative and definately gave me insight and made me see how much I hurt our relationship. I see so many areas where we failed. I have tried again & again to reach out but he's becoming aggressive/abusive verbally now so I have stopped texting/calling. Just quietly I think he had been online date