I seem to destroy all that is good

I had been with my partner for 4 years and been engaged for 2 and a half. Today we argued and he 'left me' it suddenly turns out i have been making him miserable for some months... I have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety problems. I had been getting angry about small things like him not ringing me when he said he would, He's now been offered a job which means he'll be away a lot of the time. I dont want his money i just want some time with him. I acted really selfishly today by getting upset that he couldnt stay the night with me (as we had originally planned) because he had to get some work done. Today and tonight was the last time i would be seeing him for about a month so it meant a lot to me. He has said he still loves me but doesnt want to be with me (he has done this twice before and came running back) i had told him i would change and be better, i can make him happy again etc, then he contacted me this evening asking what i would change and i told him, but taadaaa... im being ignored. What on earth can i do? We were supposed to be moving in together this year which means ill be moving away from my family so he can be closer to work. I cry all the time, even when im in a good mood. I love this person with all that i am and i just cannot function knowing we are no longer together. Please can someone give me some advice. Im Lost.

Hello YANAGRACE. In my expert opinion, here's a bit of advice, never love anyone more than you love yoursef. I know you love him, but put your happiness first sweetheart trust me. I've been threw the same exact thing that your going threw right now and it sucks. Men come and go, and trust me if you had someone to love you the right way and make you feel it everyday by their actions and words, then this deppresion you have would go away quite quickly. I have a girlfriend that Ive know for 10 years and weve been going together for 6 years, and I went threw what you are going threw right now. Its hard because you feel lost without that person in your life,but as a man its my job to keep my woman happy vice vera. Try to go out and just enjoy life, have fun, meet new friends. Sounds to me like you love him more than he loves you, and thats not right sacrafice and compromise is the name of the game. Focus on becoming the best you you can be, workout more often,read more positive books, surround yourself with positivity people because it is contasious. My God be with you and stay strong sister.

Ledgend- Thank you so much for your advice. As usual he said he wanted me back and i jumped at the chance with the conditions (decided by him) that i stop taking my tablets for my severe depression and anxiety as he believes its all just a silly thing and medication makes it worse because then i rely on it and i can play on the fact i have these problems. Also that i 'be happier' meaning i cant tell him if anything is wrong or if im worried about something. Also i stop getting aggressive (understandable) and stop being selfish by wanting to spend time with him. So really i have to be on my 'best behaviour' and work on making him happy. All this was after he destroyed my only friendship with my best friend by making up malicious lies about her husband almost leading their relationship and family to fall apart. . So as i say i took it and ran. Although today i spoke to a family member about the fact i feel a little left behind what with him getting this new job as im not able to move with him for see him very often. This family member has then twisted what i said and told my partner, he has just now screaming down the phone at me saying how dare i talk about our problems and basically saying im shit, i dont deserve him and whatever, then he just text me saying we're still together. This family member has practically destroyed what i feel to be my last chance with my fiance, as he believes this person over me. I dont know what to do because when we got back together my feeling down and lost didnt change, i thought i would feel happier immediately but no such luck. Advice? Im forever lost.

dear yanagrace thankyou so much for having the courage to put out your problem...it let me see my problem reflected back at me and to realize that its not me that is the only problem....I started dating a man quickly,we slept together quickly,he asked me to be sexually exclusive and having compassion for his feelings I said yes...plus I liked him and hewas satisfying.I looked forward to seeing him as we set a tentative date for the next weekend.He had to go out of town then see his children...all acceptable reasons to move up our date...the last 6 hours of the weekend he made plans.I expressed my disappointment...he got angry and hung up the phone.He wrote me bringing to mind that we were not a couple yet and to understand that it takes time for him.I said casual is fine o.k.he then blew up telling me by message that he did not have casual relationships and that he believed I had already went out on him to spite him.I only was trying to give him the space in which he had asked for.Aweek has gone by he has not called.I feel sick.and yet I can really feel for you because I keep asking myself"what is wrong with me?"I thought I was supposed to want to spend time with a new lover and he made it sound like I was a smothering psyco and on the other hand just waiting to hop onto whatever next guy presenting himself...I couldnt win for lose....any body have a comment>