Betrayed in more ways than one

Wow!! where do i start? ok they say from the begining. Here Goes. Ive been dating a guy for the last 18 months, the whole relationship has been turbulent in one way and another. I currently feel like im losing it. After 3 months of been woith him my father passed away. he wasnt that supportive but i guess u could say he was there. The following month he took me to visit one of his friends. As we walked in the house the woman (who he claims is like a sister to him) came downstairs with just a towel wrapped round her. Funny thing her skin was dry. Anyway has we were all sitting there talking about the weather he sat next to her and started rubbing her head her feet, i was speechless and felt awkward. We left his so called friend and i didnt say anything untill a couple of weeks passed. When i did i was a big argument and he didnt see hed done anything wrong. I forgave him and the relationship continued. 4 months passed but there was always woman calling his phone but he said they were work colleagues. Then one night we was out having a drink, out of nowhere a woman came up to me and pushed me in my chest and told me to move out the way. He told her to apologise i got mad said a few things to her and he then proceeded to give her his number saying it was an old friend. i told him to get lost at this point he begged and stalked me untill i gave into him. That was December. a few weeks later we split up again just before xmas. I didnt hear from him and by January i was missing him madly. (WHY I HEAR U ASK). I called him and we went out and got back togeather. Then 3 weeks down the line one sunday morning we were in bed, he was sleeping i was awake at 6 in the morning. I heard a text come through on his phone which i looked at. I t was a message from another woman. I took the number and when he woke i never said anything. He left my house and i called the number. The woman said she was seeing him for the last 4 years which i didnt believe because he was always with me but i do believe he was seeing her at random. She went into detail about them having sex etc etc. After i spoke to her i called him an argumnt arose and he denied everything saying she was jealous blar blar blar. I again foolishly forgave him. Then in the April she called my number saying he had been seeing her since we last spoke . Usual argument and usual forgiving. Then in July or somewhere around that time he went on hliday only to lie about where he was going and who he was with. I found out but never got to the bottom of who and what. Then recently in October things still turbalent me and him wasnt talking for 2 weeks. We started talking only for him to say he was going on holiday with his baby mother and 2 kids but he will be in a seperate room. I went mad and told him to leave me alone. Whilst he was away my friend set me up with a man. I slept with the man only to realise i was doing it for all the wrong reasons. The man wanted to continue with the relationship but i wasnt interested. My so called freind of 8 years decided to take all my personal business to his friends every coversation we had all the things i told her. And all the bad things i said about him when i was emotionally wounded. When he came back off the holiday with his baby mother he came to see me and i said i wanted to end it in the process of me saying that i told him i slept with someone else. He said he already knew because people had told him. We said we was going to try and work it out through tears and all. I told him i done what i did out of revenge to try to make myself feel better. After that he started acting differnetly towards me not just because i slept with someone else but because of the bad things i said about him. I feel destoyed, not just all of what has happened but the betrayal by my friend i just cant understand why she would do that. But the fact i let myself down and i cant understand why i still miss him. My logival side says let him go and the relationship was destructive in more ways than one. But the other side misses him so bad. I feel lost. dOES THIS FEELING EVER GET EASIER|||.

this sounds like a very difficult relationship! but I can personally see some similarities in a relation ship i was in for 2 years. When the relationship started he did things that shouldn't have been forgiven and i should have left him for but being the person i am, i hate confrontation and fighting, I would end the fights by apologizing to him and acting like its my fault i got mad in the first place. but i really feel in love with him and things continued to get difficult but we stuck through the really hard things ad always got back together if we split up. it was a very emotional rollercoaster. i felt like i would spend the rest of my life with him and continue to fight and be unhappy then happy again. but after going months without talking we would just talk and catch up and he would try to get back with me but i would just refuse and he would say really mean things to me and we wouldn't talk for awhile. But it never failed, he would always text me and apologize and then he would try to get back together.. that repeated a few times for almost a year and a halfs time and it was very hard not to give in to him but i stayed strong. i guess the point was just that it is going to be hard not to miss him. i think about this boy everyday and about 60% of me just want to be with him but sometimes you just have to see what else is out there. maybe that will even help you get your mind off of him!! sorry if my help seemed like i huge story all in its self!!

I understand wht ur goin through but I'm a male goin through it wit a female I had my past and wanted to change I have cheated In my past relationship due to the same thing to get back at my partner but it's not worth it sometimes we r just scared to b alone but thts wht a lot of us good ppl don't understand I got cheated on like three times I even had a baby wit her and it wasn't enough to have her cheating ways to stop till she left me for someone else just to get to the point there's to many ppl out there willing to b in a honest relationship so don't just settle for tht one guy cause in ur eyes he's the only white spot in a black picture (he's the only thing tht stands out) u must have qualities tht somebody will admire and cherish I know it hurts to b alone cause thts wht it comes down to cause anybody can show u love and care its just u choose to blind urself wit someone thts not worth it let it go in my opinion look for a male friend tht will occupy ur time not sexually but socially so u won't feel like ur just doin it out of Hurt have someone listen to ur problems an console u out of it but don't b vulnerable make sure u he a true friend somebody u can communicate wit occupy ur time just not to think of the person I know it's easier said thn done but honestly it's been three yrs and I still think of my ex but rarely I still c her wh I pick up my daughter but the erg of being wit her again has gone away I had a good network of friends tht I created to make me feel better but I hope u understand I'm not good explaining myself to good sometimes but honestly look for a friend wit good intentions an it will help in the long run just make sure u repeat wht u did to get back at him cause it'll b just a cycle and u will go back wit him cause of ur guilt and love for him