She's pregnant by my man

My boyf and I split up at the end of last year and he started seeing someone else. He has contiued to see me the whole time and last month he split with her so we could get back together. we have been since been planning to go abroad and get married. Now she is saying that she is having an ectopic pregnancy with his baby. I feel so betrayed. He told me it wasn't a sexual relationship. Now he's saying he needs to support her through this even though he doesn't want her or the baby. I don't know what to do. Do I hope for the best or am I kidding myself that he'll come back once it's all sorted out?

You must have been really angry when you found out about that pregnancy. How can you even trust this guy now that you’ve find out what has happened. And do you not feel bad either, about the fact that you carried on seeing him behind her back as well? I doub’t you will be able to put this to the back of your mind for some time, so regardless of whether you were planning to go away, and get married, the goal posts have been moved now, and you need to think seriously about your future together. I think he is right in trying to support her through this difficult time, and as you probably know, an ectopic pregnancy can be life-threatening, so it is no simple matter they are dealing with here. I think that you need to speak to him, find out the truth about everything, and then decide whether you are going to try and work things out, or whether you are better off with a clean sheet, and building a real relationship of trust with someone else.

I feel more disappointment than anger. No I don't feel bad that I carried on seeing him. She was a friend of his and used the problems in our relationship to get close to him. The old 'I'll be your shoulder to cry on' and then made her move. She was telling him to get out of our relationship knowing that she wanted him. I know that he lied about sleeping with her but it's not like he cheated on me and everyone makes mistakes. It's hard because I love him so much and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him and I know that he does love and want me too but I don't want to pressure him into coming back until things are really sorted and he really knows what he wants. Thank you for your advice x

Well, Lou I think you need to give this relationship a serious thought. All parties involved made mistakes but do you love him enough to live with this forever . Can you love his daughter/son as well . You have to realize you cannot just seperate the father from his son or daughter . One day they will need him and you might be expected to be equally nice to them . Afterall , what wrong did this child to to be deprived from his father. Hey , Lou you are the only person who can tell if you can live with this or not . One day after being married if he wromgly calls you with her name , you will be truly hurt . I may be too harsh on him but the fact is he has something living that ties him to her. Do not think badly of her too , being ther for him does not mean she seduced him or anything. As you said she was a friend.

I am sorry but I do feel badly about her. She was the one telling him that it wasn\'t worth sorting out our relationship, that things must have gone too far to be able to sort things out. She told him that so he\'d leave me and then she\'d have a chance. Hate to say it but it somethings not right. Now all of a sudden she says that it wasn\'t ectopic. It doesn\'t just stop being an ectopic pregnancy. Think she might just be lying about the whole thing to try and get him to stay with her. It hasn\'t worked. They aren\'t together and he and I are trying to work things out. He\'s a bit older than me and already has 2 children from a previous relationship and it doesn\'t bother me in the slightest. I would never try and stop him seeing his children. He\'s always said it\'s me that he loves. He seems to have made up his mind and is giving us a chance again. I know it\'s not gonna be easy but I am starting to think that we really can move forward no matter what!!

i fink that u shud jus leave him 2 sort his life out an if he wants u he wil cum bak 2 u at the end

I am having a kind of similar problem...my ex boyfriend who I still love very much and can't stop thinking about is having a baby with another girl. He broke up with me at the end of last year, but eventually we became very close friends and I was over our relationship. When he started dating the other girl, we even all went out together and I became friends with her. They had problems from the begining and eventually broke up. After that, the guy and I started spending more time together and were casually dating again for awhile when he found out she was pregnant by him. He wanted to be there for her, but she felt betrayed and didn't want him seeing me so I stayed out of the picture for the sake of letting them work things out for the baby. I know it's not really what he wants because he told me that he knows that it's not going to work out between them. It's more like he just wants to make sure she's not sleeping with other people while pregnant with his child and that she's not going to try to keep the child from him and I'm sure he wants to be there for her too, but it's just breaking my heart being put on hold during all of this and not knowing what is really going on between them. I still keep in touch with him, but I want more than that and I think about him every day but I know right now he has to be there for her. It's so hard because I think about them being together and having this wonderful thing happening for them together and I'm stuck on the sideline.