She thinks too much in to stuff!

ok i have been dating this amazing woman off and on for almost 4 yrs. now here are our problems * we are both in the military and i am married, devorced my wife for this woman, but she thought i still had feelings for her because of the son that we share and the fact i am too leniant with her. so she left me the first time. she also was married and going through a devorce. * when she left me i got re married to the same woman not because of feelings but because i have a fear of being alone, and the military gives me more money. she got re married to another man for the same reason. * then we started dating again and once again both going through a devorce to be together. i am getting out of the military in a couple of months just took out a rather large loan to buy us a house now she is getting cold feet again we both love eachother more than words can say, and have remained best friends through out this whole process but she thinks way into stuff and scares herself. i will not give up on us and am trying everything i can think of to make it work can someone please help im begging you please!!!!!! i want to spend the rest of my life with this woman. i think i have proven my affection and to whom my heart belongs i just need her to realize it and be at ease.

What is she afraid of? Don't use the loan to put financial pressure on her being with you. That will only work for the opposite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWqWIzi2p4Q It's not what is she afraid of.... no offense. You two sound emotionally young and have not figured out the relationship thing out yet. DON"T DO THE LOAN. Don't get married. Date for a looooong while. The back and forth from ex to this woman. The cheating on your spouses. It's a very unhealthy dynamic all around. And for god sakes, kids are involved and this has got to be confusing and damaging to them. And you admitted that you have fear of being alone. Ding Ding Ding. There's where your problem lies. Take some of that money and find a really good therapist and work on youself first before entering another relationship let a lone another marriage to ANYONE. And please do not have a child with anyone till you figure out your neediness.

penny lane: she is affraid that she will end up like her mom devorced 5 plus times but one huge issue is religion i do not do organized religion i do believe and study religion but i dont do well in a church, and the loan was already processed but she has no idea about it i dont want hto win her with money but with my love. moral code: it is not a fact of maturity. and i have seen a therapist my issue comes from being abandoned at a young age and the fact that i have night terrors from numerous deployments. and as far as my son goes his mother released all custodial rights to him and only sees him when i take him to see her, which i do alot when i can find her she is usually out partying with her boyfriend. as for the re-marriage it was a contract thing to bring in additional money, while all she wanted was the bennifits (insurance) penny thank you for your reply. moral code: now i posted to ask for help, (not some judgemental waste of what your mother should have swallowed) to try to re-create the wheel and bash everything about the situation in which i am currently in. thank you for the reply.