Relationship in turmoil!

Doubting my decision now. Let him visit or not? I was in an LDR with a guy that I met 9 months ago. The relationship lasted 6 of those months. Long story short, my ex became terrified at the thought of relocating and making the commitment. I had previously expressed that I was not interested in doing an LDR unless plans to close the gap were in the future. I said I was willing to give it a 2 year run at a distance. Upon realizing that he is afraid of this, he also realized that he is not very mature and at this point in time, he cannot handle a mature relationship as he has a lot of growing to do. I put up the offer to work things out together and he just said "I don't know what to do about anything and I'm very confused." I tried to end it once and he flipped out and asked for some time. I gave it to him but eventually, it ended with me ending it (last night). My question is about a trip that was planned that is coming up soon. He is supposed to be coming here in 18 days. He says he still wants to come and he wants to see how he feels about me when he is here. At the time, he was caught up in the honeymoon phase and he isn't sure what is real and what isn't. He thinks that being around me will make something clearer to him. I thought that letting come here would at least give us the opportunity to end things properly, if that is how its going to go but some other members in the forum have put the idea in my head that maybe I shouldn't allow that. What do you guys think? Should I let him come visit or not? I'm doubting myself and would like a second opinion.

i am so sorry to hear that, yet i feel like its a story i hear all too often. i dont want to make judgements about your relationship but something my mother always told me about love is "when a man truly loves a woman he will move moutains" i know thats of little comfort right now, and only when my broken heart was mended did that truly resinate. its so easy for a man to portay himself as "invested" in a relationship when they are living far away. there is no fear of intimacy, or change for that matter. its not hard to make calling and checking in with you a priority when his life is not altered in any way by his significant other. there is something to be said about men who have no reservations about stringing women along so they can do whatever they want while knowing the woman is waiting in the wings. now i know not all LDR's are like that, but the first sign of hesitation they show when its time to take action, is all the answer you should need to know you are most likely never going to get a commitment. either way the worst thing you can do is give them even one more second of your time. as my mom said...MOUNTAINS! im sorry to hear your concerns about your relationship, and i know more than you know how painful it is to feel like youre not enough for the man you love. you need to research everything you can about no contact rule, and also google magic of making up by tw jackson. it is life changing! its like a light goes off in your head when you see how everything we do to keep our man is actually repelling them. you deserve better!!! once again no comfort to hear that im sure but reading about these things has literally turned my world righ side up again overnight! i hope you find this helpful, and trust me if you really follow those concepts i told you about, you can turn the tables and get the upper hand back so fast he wont even know what hit him ;)

Thank your for you reply, Blue. I picked up the book and i got to the point where it ask if the relationship is worth trying to salvage and i couldnt continue to the next steps. I'm stuck on this question. I also got a copy of He's scared, she's scared which is about commitment phobia. I love the book. Its also reinforcing the doubts in my mind that this is his battle to fight and not mine. I can offer him love but he has to want to accept it in his life. Thanks again.