I'm just really scared..

first things first, i've been cheated on before. for twice in a row, i've been cheated on and it was all because i was too naive to even believe that my guy would cheat on me. That actually made me very very scared and i didn't know i was scared of it until i met S.. the thing is, i started dating him once i had a crush on him.. I thought this relationship wouldnt last and i would be done with him soon.. But now.. i've fallen for him completely and there's nothing i can do about it. to me, he's the sweetest guy i've ever met.. we've argued sometimes, but everytime we do, he's the one to say sorry even if i'm in the wrong (not that i'm a bitch).. and i can see that he puts in a lot of effort to make things work.. but now.. i'm scared.. what if one day he decides i'm not good enough for him, and somehow, i'll get hurt again? right now... i'm just a stupid paranoid girl.. who knows? maybe he is the right guy. the problem? i'm too scared. i am seriously tired of being scared and insecure.. i just want to know.. what should i do?

Hey I am in the same boat but mine is its my husband I feel like I'm second best to everything every argument he twists and make like its my fault he doesn't listen give me time I've got two children and don't want to spoil their future but I feel like I'm dying inside I love him to buts but I feel like our relationship is not even at a friendship level anymore and it breaks my heart he makes me feel so alone

Hi NAIVEGIRL It's not naive to trust someone, and your ex didn't cheat on you because you trusted him, his cheating is his responsibility. Perhaps with the wisdom of hindsight you feel you missed tell-tale signs, but loads of people do that. Trusting someone is about taking a risk, but you can't be thinking about the risk all the time. When you drive a car there's a risk that you might have an accident, but if you think about it too much, you might miss something on the road and have an accident as a result. What you are feeling is a form of transference, i.e. "it's happened before, so it might happen again!" You need to keep reminding yourself that your ex cheated because he wasn't reliable, but that this guy is someone different. Also that the cheating was down to a weakness on your ex's part, not yours. It may take a while for you to regain your sense of confidence, but keep your thinking straight on the issue in the meantime. And don't forget to say sorry if you are in the wrong at anytime! ;-) Sky