Am I "undateable"?

Okay I'm really at breaking point. This is going to be long but I really can't take it anymore. So, help, please? I'm a 22 year old girl. I've never so much as even been on a date in my life. My parents are very strict and I am incapable of lying to them, and they don't even like the fact that I have guy friends, let alone be okay with me having a boyfriend. A few guys (all friends) have asked me out over the last few years, but because of my parents, I turned them down, even though I liked some of them. All my friends have boyfriends/girlfriends. I'm happy for them but I honestly don't like hearing them talk about it. Last year I moved to another country to study, so now I am free of any parental restrictions and I would be open to dating. I dreamt of living alone for many years, obsessed over it literally, to be free to do what I want. This was supposed to be my time to have fun and do things I wasn't otherwise allowed to do. But life has been sadder than ever. No one asks me out. I feel like my youth is ending and I did none of the fun things my friends did. I don't date, drink, party, smoke, dance, nothing. I have nothing worth remembering. I listened to my parents too much. It never struck me to go against what they said. And now, when I thought it would be my turn to have fun, I'm still stuck doing nothing. I know I'm not a bad person. I know I'm not ugly. Pretty much all my friends are guys and I know they care about me a lot. I'm often told that I'm very sweet (maybe too sweet) and innocent, smart and funny, and just a nice person overall. I don't look great but I don't look bad at all. People tell me I look cute, and on the rare occasions when I've put some effort into my looks (I'm pretty plain jane/no makeup/ tomboy types) people have even told me I look hot and/or beautiful. And no, they don't just say that. They genuinely mean it. I'm not trying to show off or anything, I'm just trying to describe myself and how other people view me. Till a few years back it never bugged me that I have never had a boyfriend or a date or a kiss or anything of that sort. But it bugs me more and more everyday. I have a great life, a loving family and a bunch of really close and really caring friends. Yet, I feel this loneliness cutting inside of me. I hate myself for feeling sad about not having a boyfriend because I have so many other people that care for me. Yet as much as I try to bottle it up or make it go away, it keeps coming back, worse every time. It's come to a point where I wonder what is wrong with me. There are plenty of guys here, and I'm friendly with a lot of them, why won't anyone ask me out? Do I give off some negative vibe? Over the years I have met people who have said I "come across as the sort of person who has a boyfriend" and then those who have said that they "would be shocked to know that I have ever been on a date." I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like crying and distancing myself from people all the time. I wish there was someone I could just sit with and talk to and hug. This is the first time in my life I've lived away from home and that just adds to the loneliness. I've always been the sort of person who was very happy with my own company, yet now I would give anything to have someone, anyone. And please don't suggest I ask guys out. I am far too shy and fearful of rejection for that. Asking someone out would mean changing myself entirely, and that is not something I am prepared to do. I am much more social now, the new people I've come to know here all say I am very chatty. Yet it doesn't look like any of my new friendships are going to evolve into anything more. I hate myself for posting this. I know there must be others who have this problem too. But I honestly feel like I'm falling into depression slowly because of this, and I need to find a way out. These days I'm getting nightmares every other day and sometimes I even wake up crying because the dream is so bad. I am the only 22 year old I know who has never been in a relationship. Help, please. Any advice will be appreciated.

the only help a girl like me can give u is to step out ad do something u know your parents wouldnt like. itl be weird ul refuse, but once u do that things will flow and ul find someone . maybe itl be someone u turned down even. but seriously go outside the confort zone and for one week do nothing but say yes to urself and everyone. i promise ul fid a whole new u . i promise u. please do that for me, say yes to everything outside what ur parents would like and ill do the same. my name is rhiannon and itl work just be a new u and people will come to u!

Have you ever heard the saying: "You can take the girl out of the family, but it's much harder to take the family out of the girl!" What I mean by that is that although you disagree with your parent's restrictive and controlling ways, and can see that they were wrong, you have internalised some of the attitudes that they have imposed on you in the past. I recommend that you read this book:- "I'm OK, You're OK" by Thomas Harris ISBN: 9780099552413 The book explains and expands on what I have written above. It's a great book and an an absolute classic read, and you should be able to get it on Amazon very cheaply. If reading the book is not enough in itself, then you may need to seek some counselling to help you with this issue. Although you want to be asked out, I suspect that you give off subtle signals that suggest the opposite. Such signals are given off below the level of conscious awareness, and so are very difficult to control. Reading the above book won't completely expunge the internalised attitudes that are causing you to give off these signals, but it will help you to understand what is going on inside you, and how this effects your non-verbal behaviours when interacting with potential suitors. Awareness and understanding will bring the potential for change. As already said, you may also need some counselling to complete the journey. But the first step is to read the book, which may be enough to help you to make some changes. ATB Sky

i have been through a period where i really want to meet someone but no one, anywhere, seems interested in me. the more time passed, the more drastic the situation felt, and it seemed to become more and more important that i find someone. so much so, that i think i put off a bad vibe, so to speak. if i'm not being natural old me, and instead have 500 wheels turning in my head wondering this...wondering that... then this shows in my demeanor, my body language. in short, i seem desperate...too willing... or at the very least, quite awkward. because i make it so all important in my head. i wonder if this is not part of why you don't seem to get much attention. certain attitudes/demeanors come across as 'unapproachable'. maybe you put off some vibe that makes guys think you probably won't be receptive. guys don't want to get shot down!! at least not the ones that are genuinely interested in you. also, not all guys are are unabashed smoothies that will come up and try to talk to you if they think you're attractive. players will, but most stand-up guys need some signal that you are interested in them, that they have a shot, you know? maybe you should try to let a guy know, subtly, that your interested in him. they let your personality do the rest of the work! hope this helps.