Should I say with him???

Hi ppl. I will sayer with saying thanks for taking the time to read my problem and would appreciate it if u could reply. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 year and last year we bought a house and took a loan out to pay for major renovations. When we moved in 6 months later after purchase cracks started to appear in our relationship. By that time we now have 2 dogs and a pile of debt. I wanted to rent and not buy a house to see how our relationship but he is a mortgage advisor and does not beleive in renting. In my opinion I know we jumped into the deep end to fast! I no do not want to be with him and to add on top of that I have been diagnosed with atheritis which means I had to cut my working hrs down and my salary. I feel I cannot keep up demand from my bf for money. I feel depressed and dnt want to be with him but feel I'm into deep and I know that's my own mistake but I dnt no what to do as I'm not happy and want to just run away. What should I do?? Please not time wasters this is a real concern!

If you are in the UK you can get free advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau re managing the debts while looking at ways of getting out of your current situation. If you have no equity in the property there should be some fairly straightforward options re the mortgage. Do you have somewhere to go if you move out? Would it be possible to rent the property out as a way of managing the debt until it can be sold or until your partner can take it over, or find another person to share the mortgage with? The CAB will have the answers to the general questions, the specific ones have to come from you. I suggest you get an appointment with the CAB a.s.a.p and draw up a plan of action.

Thanks for your response.I know all this as I work in the mortgage field and my partner is a mortgage advisor. The house costs £500 a week to run the house and my partner cannot afford it himself even though the mortgage is in his name he agree that I will still get what I'm owed from the house and I do believe he will stick to that promise but the problem is in the mean time I need to keep up with the finical demands which I'm finding difficult as I have just had to change jobs because of my atheritis. I was a experiences well paid hair dresser and now I work in my partners work as it's his mums business she gave me a job. This now means if I leave him I do not have a job as I dnt think I could work with him if we have broken up! I know I could be eligible to housing benefit because of my illness but I feel if I leave him I have alot more to loose than him plus he cannot afford the house himself. I feel trapped and we dnt get on, have sex really or be nice to one another. I want to leave him but I'm so scared what to do first and how to go about it. I tell him all the time it's not working but somehow I dnt think he takes me seriously! The only conversation I get from him is about money other than that he acts like he does not care! I hate him touching me and i make out I have always been like that! I feel we have put slot of work into this property and dnt want to break up and feel I have made a mistake but all I think about is getting my own place and starting a new life myself! This makes me happy but do think I will have the guts to go through with it as I'm not a person who copes with change very well! Should I take the plunge and how should I go about it?? Again thanks for taking the time to read my problem and would really appreciate a response x

Perhaps you could make the break with some emotional and moral support? Relate help people with breaking up as well as making up, if money is tight they will probably work something out regarding the usual fee. It doesn't sound as if anything will improve while so much pressure is on, so a break is probably going to happen sooner or later - doing it earlier rather than later might mean that you have a bit more control over how it happens. Relate have a national directory of local branches on their website - relate.org.uk