He's a mommys boy

Hello. my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years, and i had known him 3 years before that before i had the courage to talk to each other, hes a real sweet guy, and hard working, and every one is so dependent on him. his mom. his work. everywhere. he lets people take advantage of him. especially hismom. hes 19, still living with parents and his 21 year old and 8 year old brother. another point in the problem:his mom is a devout MORMON. so growing up he was always pressured into going on his mission. he didnt go to college, he didnt get his drivers license , or a car all because his mom didnt want him to because she wants him to go on his mission. isnt that sad? he decided on his own, before we started dating that he wasnt going to go. he also has health reasons for not going. i feel his mom has blamed me for his choosing not to go. , his mom has seriously raised all 3 of her sons to be..babies! i love my boyfriend, with all my heart, but i dont know what to do anymore about his constant giving in to her commands and needs. i see him at night only for a couple of hours, except sundays and mondays for their mormon stuff. and his schedule and mine are so opposite that we only have nights together. so when the occasion happens where i can see him during the day, hes never allowed out because his mom leaves and he has to babysit until he needs to leave for work. she will never let him stay the night at my house, my family loves him. and im not allowed over ever because she thinks her house is too dirty. our fights are always about i want to see him during the day more often , but his mom controls his free time. he tells me that if he doesnt disappoint one person hes disappointing the other. but he ALWAYS chooses her:( i wont ever leave him. i just need patience, please help me/him

I can understand why you are frustrated but the only way that things could ever change is if he steps up and makes a stand because if he doesn't then later on if you both move in together and get married and have children then she will probably have less control over him but with people like that they usually try and find ways to control. So if the big problem right now is you not spending any time with in the day then he and his brother should take it in turns to babysit their brother and this would be their arrangement and not hers and encourage him to get some help to become more assertive. But the most important thing is that he mans up and makes his own decisions and doesn't just give in to her because if he doesn't it will never change so it might take abit of tough love on your part because it's fair enough that you feel angry so if he does not stand up to her then show him that your fed up with it talk to him about how it makes you feel and msybe say that you want some time apart and this should hopefully push him to act because you need to counteract any guilt tgat she puts on him and if she does manipulate and guilt trip him for control then is emotional abuse and if she has been doing this then he should talk to someone about it because it would help him realise what she does and allow him to break free. Hope this helps.