Decided to work things out instead of divorce

I dont know how to do this. i need profesional help but dont have money or time for it. i have to try to figure this out on my own. not sure that i can. so maybe someone out there can help...idk

When you've exhausted all the DIY routes, couple counselling is worth looking at. If you are in the UK, Relate and Marriage Care (you don't need to be married) specialise in such counselling, and they can often come to a workable arrangement if money is short. Both have websites with a local branch finder. You will need to make time for finding solutions though - counselling is usually no more than an hour per week, but listening and talking to each other takes time, being an important part of the process. As is thinking through things, i.e. working at seeing the other person's point of view, and being prepared to adapt your own perspective will often help with getting closer again, and might be an essential requirement. Perhaps part of the problem is that you are not giving enough time to your relationship - i.e. lack of 'work : home' balance? Deciding that you want to work things out is a positive first step, but it's likely to take time and require effort from both sides to get back on track. If it was something simple, then you would probably have sorted it long ago. Improving communication between you is a good place to begin, particularly in relation to listening to the other party. The steps involved are easy to describe, but can be arduous to master, particularly when strong emotions are involved. But if you can listen effectively, think about what has been heard, and open up your own perspective enough to allow some of your partner's views in, then there should be some hope of positive progress. Trust is part of the bed-rock of a good relationship, and if trust has been lost, then it may take some time to rebuild. One of the best books I've seen written for couples trying to improve their relationship is called: 'Couple Skills' by McKay, Fanning and Paleg - you can find it on Amazon.co.uk or .com It covers the basics of communication and illustrates the pit-falls that can so easily make talking to each other so difficult when emotions are running high. As the book progresses, it provides some insight into advanced communication, e.g. how to analyse and recognise unhelpful psychological processes that may be getting in the way of making positive progress. I don't know of any quick-fix method for repairing broken relationships - if such an approach existed, I feel sure we would all have heard of it. Good luck! Sky