A misguided love?

Ok so ive known this girl for about 6 years now we have always been good friends. I have always been attracted to her and over the years i fell madly in love with her. now as an honerable guy i once promised id never lie to her (totally bombed that one) and i let her know how i felt. ive dated her on and off over the years but weve never slept together and have only kissed once. im slowly going insane because my life is falling apart bit by bit. the only happy thoughts that ever go through my head are of her. but for the last couple years shes been in a relationship with this guy. They were engaged but he broke it off. after a few monthes she took him back and left me again. i cant get her out of my head but i dont want to be that guy to try and tear them aapart so i can have her when shes generally happy. but ive lost all interest in everything else in my life i feel like she is the love of my life. the future. the past. the present. i cant handle this feeling of being apart from her i want to be and do everything she needs. what she herself has told me he can never be. but she only wants him to play that role in her life. i dont know what im doing anymore its getting me so down i cant work sleep or eat. i just dont see going on eithout her. id sell my soul or maim my body for her. shes the only person ill be with havent even had a passing interest in anyone else in 4 years now havent gotten laid since i was 17 a few years after we met. i need help figuring out what to do or where to go now. ive moved across the country several times to try and escape what i feel for her and as soon as she calls i cant help but come running.

Sounds like a relationship I was in with my now ex, far gone, out of my life lover... (; well I feel in love with him first sight and always wanted a chance with him until I finally did years after us being acquaintances. We got back and forth together but he was still so madly in love with his ex gf who dumped him for another guy and did crazy things to him over the course of some years. On and off I was with him wanting a chance at love with him and a new life and I dreams of spending my life with him. But after some time of being used and abandoned when his ex gf came back in his life, I started feeling unappreciated. First of all, I was only rebound to him and yes he did say he loved me, he did not show it. You date this girl on and off and don't sleep with her? Her heart is not in it and she only calls upon you because you are rebound and you will always be there... So she thinks. But she is going to continue breaking your heart over and over again bc she is only benefitting her needs; not yours. You might not to grow some balls and think that if she can leave you at any point she doesn't need you any,ore you need to show her that you will not always be there and your tired of her using you in this way. You may want her badly bc she has been tempting you about how she feels like, etc but you can't spend all your life waiting fir someone who may never come. You need to give yourself a new opportunity of someone willing to give you a fair chance from the start. I wasted my time wanting someone who in the end never would want me in that way that I did. And he's still a loser chasing his ex when he's had love from me all along. Don't waste your time, give it to someone who's deserving of it. She will leave you for another man, for a women even a cow if that's what she really wants at the moment. (Lol) but don't be there just to be stepped on. If she really likes you around she will not hurt your feelings and consider you as an option for real love and stop playing these wack manipulating games.