Need help before I cheat..

Hi, i am 35 and I have been with my bf for almost 8 years. I really care for this guy, he is a good guy, but things seem to have changed...I like to kiss and having someone show me that he cares (hugging, holding hands and so on...). He was never "cuddly" or affectionate but at the beginning he would pay me compliments, hold my hands and kiss me but now nothing. I used to initiate kissing but he would always stop me...same with hugging and holding hands. Sex is almost never happening and when it does there isn't any foreplay just some rubbing (always by me) and the sex...I am done trying to get closer and everytime he wants to have sex or something, I turn him down because, as I told him many times, I want some romance or at least an effort in showing some affection. I am seriously thinking of having an affair because I NEED some affection, to feel wanted, desired...I still love him but I do not feel attracted to him anymore but I do not want to leave him, he is my best friend and we have fun together...I guess we have become roommates now, that the romance is gone and now we are just two lonely people living together....just best-buddies....What should I do? I never had any urges before, but lately I have been looking at other men, fantasizing about them...I am even thinking about having an affair (only sex, nothing serious as I do not want to leave my bf)...I am so confused and stressed..I need help....

Hi Your storey is the same as my girlfriends past relationship. Ended a 10 year relationship because of no sex really. She went tcounsellor with her ex. But she also gave in during the relationship. She did cheat. I can undetand your story. Sad to hear really. I would recommend getting good help pronto.

If your going to cheat, you won't get much romance because cheating is usually just a sexual thing. I would talk to him and try to work things out. Let him know the raw truth. If he can't handle that then why stay at all? No one should stay in a relationship when their lover feels like a roommate. Relationships shouldn't also be an endurance game..

Is true, I think you're confused or maybe you're interesting in having some one else and keep your bf as well. if you don't wanna be with him just talk to him and let him know how you feel if doesn't work out is a different story. Good luck.

Hi 1977 How's things with your relationship.. I hope everything worked out for the best. I would like to talk to you here's my email [e-mail address removed]. I hope to hear from you.

Hi I have been with my now husband for 17 years, I told him how I felt and he pushed for answers, my mum had just died this was Oct last year, I told him I wanted other men, I often used to think about doing this before my daughter who is now almost 4 was born. Is there anything that has happened in your life that could be associated to this feeling, it could be escapism, it is for me. My dad was abusive, now I crave attention from men that don't really care for me. Hope this all helps, Here for you Angel cake