Cheating or not

I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. He's honestly a wonderful person and takes wonderful care of me. I do have an issue though. Last year I caught him "sexting" some girl and I called him out on it. I had been using his phone to text my friend and her name popped up as a new message and I unfortunately checked it. There I found days and hundreds of messages worth of them going back and forth with each other and I was so heartbroken/upset. I sat on it for a week and continued to check his phone and finally brought it to his attention after he started deleting the messages, thinking I wouldn't have seen them. He admitted, felt terrible, said she was just feeling terrible about herself, etc, etc. I know it's wrong to check your partners phone and to snoop in their private stuff, but now I couldn't help it. I felt so betrayed not only by the act, but by the fact that he started attempting to cover his tracks. It wasn't just that one girl, it's a small handful of girls he's flirted with or made sexual comments back and forth with via facebook. So for the past year I've been periodically checking his facebook and I have come across some pretty upsetting things. It stopped for about 8 months and it just recently started up again. All girls he's had past relations with or was old friends with. I'm not sure what to do. He isn't ACTUALLY cheating and this most recent one he finally 'fessed up to having a girlfriend and admitted that he'd never do anything, then she admitted she'd never do anything because he was taken, but then they continued to talk sexually back and forth. I know it's wrong of me to keep hounding his facebook, but I never have the guts to call him out on anything a. because part of me feels guilty for "spying", b. He isn't physically cheating and it's always a different girl he's talking with so I don't even know what to say. Should I be this upset over it? I honestly don't believe he'd ever physically cheat on me. Is it just something guys do and I'm taking it too personally? I feel like I do need to bring it up because all I do is screen cap the messages and let it anger me. Then I just take it out on him in other ways by being mean, rude or just ignoring him all together. I'm able to blame a lot of it on stress because I am in school and it's basically sucking the life out of me, but I know that isn't the answer to this situation. We're looking to relocate together and just started shopping for engagement rings for pete sake. How do I bring it up? He dotes on me hand and foot so it's not like he's rude or neglectful towards me when I'm present, he treats me better than I've ever been treated and probably better than I deserve for the way I treat him since I stared feeling so betrayed. I feel like I either have to confront this issue or just accept the fact and stop checking/let it go and ignore him flirting/being sexually suggestive via text with other girls. I'm so confused because I feel like it should be black and white, but since it's always different girls I don't get it.

hay i understand where you are coming from. buys can be like that sometimes. you need to talk to him about this because even though he isnt physically cheating now he can in time if you dnt stop it. if he loves yu and u guys are ready to spend ur lifes togther there should be no secrets btw you guys . it would take alot of stress of of you if you just ask him

Hi there, I have had the same problem with my boyfriend. It has only happened a few times and I never found out by snooping (mom always said if you go looking for something you will find it). In my case my boyfriend explained that before he met he was with loads of girls and sometimes it is nice to feel that he still has the "game". I know he loves me and wouldn't cheat on me and he is very honest about the reason he did it. Maybe with how serious you and your man are getting he just wants to be reminded that he is still an attractive male, but that isn't to say he wants anyone else but you. think of it this way, if he was going to cheat on you - you can see he could take his pick from the amount of girls you describe. But he hasn't he is with you and that is what matters. Talk to him and explain you understand but also that it makes you feel upset. Ask how he would react if he saw you doing the same thing, it will get him thinking. I hope this helps, keep me posted.

Hey I really wanna come up with something positive here, but I can't! I really feel for you and believe you deserve better! Ok so he isn't physically cheating but the emotional damage he is causing you is far worse! You should be one mans everything, and all that man needs. He shouldn't even be messaging these women in this manner, I feel it's massively inappropriate! I would tell him how this makes you feel, tell him you deserve to be his one and only and ask him to stop what he's doing. Of he refuses, ask yourself, does he love you as much as you love him when he's flirting and sexting other women. Good Luck :)