Am I wrong?

My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for over three years and have lived together for over two. In the past year or so, our sex life has slowed down. WAY DOWN. We average maybe 2 or 3 times a month or so. It was an incredibly slow transition from the first years of being together where we had sex all of the time to now, and recently it's begun really worrying me. My girlfriend blue balls me all the time, making out a bit or what have you and then pulling away. Rather often. The last couple of times of caused me a great deal of psychological pain. When I tried talking to her about it, she talks about feeling bad about not being able to, caused by stress and anxiety about various aspects of her life, (her job, her gay best friends), and apologized for me not being at the forefront of her thoughts. I try to tell her she's been making me feel lonely and unimportant in her life, and then that just makes her feel even more guilty and stressed. A few nights ago we made love because she felt obligated and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I feel as though sex is such a crucial aspect of any successful relationship and I don't feel like it's wrong to want 10 times the sex I do. I feel like it's a big joke when my girlfriend and gay roommate talk about being sexually liberated when I'm sitting there uselessly, knowing I probably won't be having sex that week and I'm supposed to be happy for them? Well, I am. But I'm not happy for me and I'm starting to feel like no one really cares and I'm wondering if it's my fault. It very well could be. But that's not how I feel and I want to scream. Any advice would be warmly welcome.

I can definitely relate to your situation, except I was on the end that didn't want the sex. One thing I can tell you is that it had nothing to do with a lack of physical attraction to my boyfriend; that was still there. For me, the biggest problem what that I just felt that we had become too comfortable with each other in the sense that everything was very routine. We'd go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed. The 'spark' was gone. It caused a lot of tension and fighting. Fortunately, I ended up going off to school. He stayed in our apartment and I moved a couple hours away and we decided to take a break for a little while. After this short break (a week) we discussed what we felt could be improved in our relationship and things have been really great since then. One thing that we both found very helpful was putting time in for date night. Just taking the time to be together without any distractions and that really helped us to connect again. Another thing that really stopped me from being interested was my emotions. I had a lot of insecurities and I just really wasn't happy with who I was. Improving this was a combination of speaking with a counselor and just deciding to be happy. It took a while but I got there and my sexual desire has increased significantly. I agree with you that sexual attraction is an important part of a relationship. I'm not sure if my experience has helped you at all but I hope you two figure things out. And if you can't figure something out together, or you're just on different pages, maybe you should think about your other options... All the best.

I had this happen to me very recently so it's like deja vu lsitening to your story. Basically sex is important and I need a partner who likes having sex the same amount as me so I had to break it off. there is plenty of women out there who won't take you for granted and will enjoy having sex. Breakups are tough and painful, but if you are not getting what you need...gotta move on.