5 year gay relationship at risk of falling apart

I am 24, gay and in love, I am posting this on TL of all places b/c I have tried relationship help forums and have not had any thought full feed back other than "LOL, OMG dump him or make up" <-- yea really deep there. please over look grimmer as I am upset at the time of writing this My boyfriend of 5 years lives with me in our little apartment of 3 years. I fully love him, yet we have drifted. We have trouble as all relationships do. The last 2 years he has pulled away. Yet, Over the last 4 month a few issues have came to light that had gone noticed before. He keeps of his unhappiness hidden from me. he wants me to "read him" and just know that something is wrong. Yet when I miss something he feels as if I do not care. He is searching for someone who understands him. But gets a feeling of rejection from me if I do not pick up on what is bothering him. Then there is sex, See the spoiler, it is not graphic. It is needed to under stand what is going on. We are both versatile (give and take). I have a much stronger sex drive than him to start. however, do to his unhappinesses his sex drive gets suppressed. This leaves me feeling needy, His (you know what) is also on the large side, and even after 5 years it freaking hurts. (not normal) I love to bottom and have with other people and it is grate. With his (you know what)I need a lot of time to get it in, and when he wants to sex he wants it now. He liked to bottom when our relationship is ok. But when he is up set, he dose not want sex in the less bit. This has leaded to sexual anorexia in our relationship. As a result, I act very "clingy" in public and at home, I latch on to him, I desperately want intimate contact. However, when I am being clingy it sends the wrong message. My boyfriend's friends think i am trying to "mark my territory". It creates a social barrier. My boyfriend is not all that in to PDA eather. I think I would not be so clingy if we had more sex. Additionally, I found him and his friend masturbating. my boyfriend was attracted to him at the time (because he was an attractive guy) we are not actively open with our relationship. But I was not ok with it under the circumstances at the time. I knew that we where slipping long before, so I used his cheating as a way to guilt him in to doing things I wanted. I guilt-ed him in to bing more affectionate that he really wanted to be. It was nice, to feel his full enbracse. So I pushed more and more, hanging it over his head. my "punishment" wnet too far when I started guilt him about every thing, even going out. I fully interted his sisial life Over the last 4 months it has grown to the point that he is depressed. All of his friends hate me as they see me as the source of his depression. And so is our downward spiral, It starts off happy, then my boyfriend gets upset do to me, work, or whatever. When I notice it we do ok, when I let it slip, he gets a little dose of rejection, Over time the little feeling adds up. and my boyfriend tries to protect him self by pulling away. I get needy form the lack of attention and start forcing my way in to his life. Doing this puts off his friends and him even more fueling his need to pull away. It has now reached a tipping point. My boyfriend wants to move to a new city with a friend, (he dose not have feeling for this guy) He wants to get away form a job he hates, and a relationship he is depressed in. the move is in 2 months. If he really loves me, I am moving too. I am staying here if he dose not. So, in an effort to gain some perspective and to let each other "breath" we are taking a break for 1 month. The idea is to allow him to see if I am what is causing his continual sadness or if it is part self-imposed. I what him to see that he can change how he communicates what is troubling him. So we can grow as a couple. Also, the break gives me a chance to detach from him. It will let me see why I love him. My boyfriend fells that I am just comfortable with him, and I don't really like him as a person. Separating permanently would be much easer if I date another guy and see that other people can give me what he can. One month form now we are going to try to see if we have any attraction. My boyfriend and I well "date" as if we are a new couple. Hopefully he will show some true affections, I also hope sex will be on the menu. After a week we will decide if are commented to each other and face our issues of commutations and social interactions. Or if it is not worth the effort. Here is where I need help, 1) I have no clue how to pull my self away form him over the next month, he is all I know. 2) I don't know how to get him to fall in love with me again. Dating is not something I am in practice of what do I do??? Help. 3) If he dose want to change, What tool or method can we use to get him to communicate his needs more freely.

Communication is key, that's good that you two are taking a one month break, I think that was that right decision but now during this month, it will give you time to find yourself, to be more independent. You should focus more on work, hanging out with friends ( don't cheat ). Getting him to fall back in love with you should be easy, you need to show him why he started to love you in the first place. Do nice things for him. Cook dinner after the month is up, be super sweet when he comes back, have a couple nights to drink and just laugh together. To get him to want to talk to you about how he feels. Maybe recommend counseling to him. And if that is unaffordable or he doesn't agree to it. Then try lighting a few candles, having him right how he feels on a piece of paper, ( you do this with him ), & put it in a bag or something. Shake it up then you each pull one out, read it out loud and burn it into the candle. It's a soothing technique to basically say all your problems are nothing, and you can over come them. I really hope I helped, and I would love to hear back what happens. Thank you for posting this and I wish you the best of luck!