My husbands best friend

I dont know where to start. I am 36 my husband is 40. we have been together 18 of the last 21 years. I have one child from a previous relationship I had while we were split up for a couiple of years. He is great to my son (he has been around since he was month old). We also have a daughter. We have had a pretty open relationship. WE are both big flirts and have swung from time to time. We both work hard and are invloved with our kids sports and school. He drinks (but he is not a mean drunk just goofy). I dint drink so much when we meet but it was a 'cant beat'em join'em kind of deal. Everything was ok.. (I thought it was..) when his best friend showed up one night and I passed him walking out the door. He had been drinking and he put his hand on my waist and smilled and said a simple "Hello Darlin where you going." I got a smile on my face that went so far deep down inside that I have still not been able to shake it.. that was almost 2 yrs ago. The BF and I talked and meet secertly on a couple of occasions. My husband senced somethiong was wrong and he finaliy got me drunk enought to tell him what was going on between me and the BF. They had words and I put all of the blame on me not wanting to break up there friendsheip or chance never being able to see the BF again. The BF has a girlfriend and the 4 of us have spent some time together. On our last get together the BF caught me alone and stressed he still has feelings(sexual and emotional for me). Which fueled my fire for him more than it ever needed to be. His girlfriend still not knowing for sure anything was going on. I Havent seen him or really talked to him since that night. An occoasional text back and forth with "how is the weather, check this song out" type of deal. Then he called me on his B-day and my heart just melted, I sent him a xrated pic and his GF found it and called my husband. Now they are not speaking againg and the BF called my husband and told him to tell me that he dosent want me calling or texting him anymore. The problem is I cant get him off of my mind. I am deperessed the BF is all I think about from the time I wake up intil the time I go to bed. I dont knwo if I just need to hear it from him or what. I never had any intension of leaving my husband for him.. I just really love he way he makes me feel.. I want that with my husband but I dont know how to do that with our saying it right out.I am losing my mind it would be stupid to screw up the wonderful relationship I have but If I dont snap out of this than is exactually what is going to happen. How do I get him off of my mind?!?!?!?!?

Focus more on you and your husband, on your kids and work. Try to gain that relationship you had with the BF with your husband. I bet if you treat your husband really well, like doing nice things for him, he will do nice things for you back. Also, go out to dinner and just talk. Don't drink. Just have a nice conversation.

Izzy 343 I wish I could build the relationship that I had with the BF with my husband. I have tried to suggest some of the things that the BF did that made me feel good and special.. to my husband but he just doesn't seem to think those things are important. I dont know how else to get him to do the simple things like sit next to me on the couch (not all the time just every once in a while would be fine) Hold my hand in public.. I'm not asking for much just a little attention. We work together(not side by side but in the same company) we take lunch together and then he gets breaks with his guys.. I fix his lunch and dinner and serve it to him. I will leave little love notes or send him and I love you text in the middle of the day. Rub his back at home and give him little lunch time suprises(jut for his statifcation.. LOL). I dont know what other nice things to do for him. He is very unsociable when he dosent drink(even with me) so going out to dinner and not drinking might not work too well. We get along great we dont fight or disagree. We just are not on the same page. I cant seem to shake the thought and feeling of the BF. I really do apperciate your input and suggestion and I am definatly open to more. Thanks Lilith

If you're not happy with your marriage then you shouldn't be in it. He could also be taking advantage of you though. So maybe you could try doing less of those things and see how he takes it but say I'm sorry I forgot. Don't be mean about it.