I'm hating these gut feelings. Am I paranoid?

So I've been married for four years. Things seemed for the last year to be getting really bad. Then the husband and I were separated for 6 months for his job (he is military). He wasn't in a war zone but anyway he came back and some things are getting better but others are making me go numb. A little background; he cheated 2 years ago while deployed. I caught it after wards by accident. I was erasing old files on my computer and found some Craigslist personal ads. This caused me to open the can of worms so to speak. I found a file of a female we know "playing with herself for him". Now, I have always been the walk away immediately type. But as it is so often with spouses whom are uprooted and have no where to turn I forgave him to make it work. I literally have nowhere to turn. I married out of school. Got pregnant right after and have little job experience. No where capable of supporting our child let alone myself. Well he had to leave for the military stuff this week again and went somewhere in the states. And is meeting up with a woman that has always put me in a difficult situation. My husband told me he had been trying to "get in her pants" for many years. But she always rejected him and that I don't have to worry. But then I got this nauseating feeling a little bit ago out of nowhere. The same feeling when I found that dirty file two years ago. Am I paranoid?

I'm sorry but you are not paranoid. While he may not be cheating currently, he has in the past, and has openly expressed an active attempt to get into another woman's pants. If he is not currently, I guarantee he will in the future as soon as the opportunity presents itself, and he sounds like he likes putting himself in the position where this might happen. Don't have much advice other than seek the comfort of friends and family to get through this, but you have to understand, if you stay with this man, he will continue to cheat.

And that is what I'm afraid of. If he hasn't cheated again how can I convince him not to or to strengthen our relationship. I'm between a rock and hard place because I literally have no where to go. I know I have made my bed but damn I really need to find a way out. And to top it off my best friend is moving in with us in a few weeks and I don't want to put her in a struggling situation since that was the soul purpose of her moving out of our home state and city.

You cannot convince a man not to cheat. He either will or he won't, nothing you can say or do is going to stop this particular man since he has already openly acted on and expressed the desire to do it again. I personally, think this is not a relationship worth strengthening. I do not know the details of your situation, but if you have anyone you can stay with temporarily, you should. In the US, most states have a 50/50 split of assets in any divorce, even without cheating, but I do not know what the laws in the UK are. You might want to look into a free legal clinic for women and get some advice there on how to extricate yourself without losing everything. Stop blaming yourself, BTW. You did not cause this man to be this way, he obviously has no respect for your marraige or you and this is a flaw of his, not yours.