New lust

Ok, so im an extremely fussy person, and when it comes to guys they have to be spot on. I see and meet many who i do find highly atrractive,but there needs to be more.And i barley ever find that.Untill recently i just started a new job. Thats where i met James. After getting to know him a bit more ive really grown to like him. He doesnt even fit into the 'my type category' and i still cannot stop thinking of him. Just the mentioning of his name gives me that smile that hurts and doesnt go away! And for once ive stopped trying to find excuses as to why we wouldnt be suited.But thats the thing! Ones came along anyway :( He has a long term girlfriend! Ive been flirting away all this time, and in hope of something happening, to find this out! Theres always a block.I just want a good guy :( Problem though, ive continued acting the way i was before i knew and i get the impression he likes me also. Am i just totally in denial when i think he might grow some lust for me and realise hes done with this other girl? This is so horrible i know, but he must be great if i hardly ever find someone that makes me feel so happy to be around. Or is the problem just that i havent had the chance to think of any problems with him, because his girlfriend was one and really i need the reassurance thats hes not as perfect as he seems from my understanding? I love this feeling, but hate this situation.

wELL, HONEY, YOUR feelings are being led by lust, and not common sense. If you value your job to keep the roof over your head and to pay your bills, then please please don't make the same mistake I made and mix business with pleasure. You will end up being the one hurt here, and left to look like a silly little infatuated girl. I know, it happened to me too. Realising what you have is more important than thinking that what you want is an unattainable man, and if you DO manage to get him between the sheets, then he will take what he wants and run like hell back to his long term girlfriend. Meanwhile, you will be the one feeling awkward at work - and you won't be able to function to the best of your ability. Try to stop flirting around this guy, and look for some of his bad points to try and put you off him in that lustful way. Try looking for plaque on his teeth when he smiles, and say to yourself "yeuch". Try looking for signs that he doesn't wash himself as regularly as you would like and think "disgusting". Try thinking to yourself "so what if he is nice looking - it is his brain that matters in the workplace so look for how him and you can get on and work together without feeling sexually attracted to him. Are you going out at night and meeting new people? Try doing something outside of work that will make you feel more confident in yourself. I did, and ended up becoming pretty well known for giving something away to people that didn't involve sex (but the men would sure love to try!). Realise your own power and confidence, and that this job is more important to you than an office fling, and your confidence will start to surface in ways that you would never have imagined. But be warned, you can ignore my advice at your peril, and get involved with this man, and risk your self esteem in the process. So what if he likes you! Does he show any sexual interest in you? If he does, then he is obviously a rat, especially if he has already got a long term girlfriend! Good luck honey, and if you need to chat, get in touch. CJ