I cannot break contact with bully of an ex-boyfriend

I have been single now for nearly four months having finally taken the plunge in May and finished with my violent, aggressive, controlling, manipulating, cheating, lying bully of an ex boyfriend. I have changed my number but I am obsessed with emailing and calling him (on private number). This self torture has gone on daily for two years now (since we started seeing each other) but I cannot break the contact. I have no intention of ever getting back with him but I seem to be addicted to getting some sort of closure and revenge or for him to at least see what he has done and how he destroyed me. Two months into our relationship I found out that the girl - if you can call her that! who he had been seeing was three months pregnant with his child. Not from him may I add but via an abusive Facebook message from her complete with baby scan image! My world fell apart but I decided against all advice to stand by my man. Since then I have been on and off with said guy because I have found out numerous times that despite me standing by him and supporting him through everything he had still been seeing this girl behind my back. Not only have I put up with his lies and cheating, I have supported him through his mental illness, gave him a place to stay rent free, forgave him time and time again only to be lied to and humiliated over and over. I am an intelligent girl and can see right through him and his lies but I have some overriding obsession with trying to prove him wrong and show him for what he is! Its ruling my daily life.

Hi there, I completely understand how you feel I have also just come out of an abusive relationship where I was cheated on. Luckily I have lots of people around me encouraging me to be strong and know my worth. You are worth so much better. You can be strong and move on, it will take time but you need to learn to put yourself first - love yourself. Find an outlet whether it be hanging out with friends, getting a new hobby, writing, drawing whatever takes your mind off things. I know its hard but you need to remove his number and details from everywhere so that even if you are tempted you wont have the option. You can do it! Stay strong hunny, I'm sure there are people on your side and you WILL meet someone else. Be brave, beautiful.

Thanks Mimi. I've tried absolutely everything. I've gone a couple of months before with no contact whatsoever but whenever I feel a bit down I call him. Unfortunately we work together as well (I'm office based and he is site based so we don't see each other that regularly) which means I will always have some sort of contact with him. My family and friends have been amazing - supporting me each time he's destroyed me over and over but I'm finding I'm lying to them now because I am still in daily contact with him where they think I've not spoken to him (only at work) since we split up in February. I go out with friends regularly and spend most weekends with my family. I've had weekends away etc. I work fairly long hours and I've even got a kitten to try distract me but I have become addicted to trying to get him to see what he's done and be sorry. He doesn't deserve any of my time or efforts but I'm obsessed with this.

Are you out of your mind??? You do realise that he has the upper hand because of what you're doing, don't you? Nothing that you have been doing has worked for you, has it. The best thing you could do is NO CONTACT!!! That will probably blow his mind and make him realise that you are a force to be reckoned with. But you have to be strong if he contacts you by that point. I actually feel sorry for the poor girl that is carrying his baby. Let her deal him, not you. Please just be grateful he's not your problem anymore. Sorry to sound harsh but that's the way I see it. Kato