Cheating

I recently went on a works night out. Everyone got really drunk and I ended up snogging some lad, who i really don't have any feelings for. I hate myself for doing this, and i know it was a stupid drunken mistake. I want to tell my boyfriend because i love and trust him completely. I just don't know how to tell him. He's a really understanding person, so i know he'd probably listen to me. I just don't know what to say. I can't believe i let myself do this. Even if my boyfriend forgives me, I don't think i'll ever forgive myself. Please help!

If you believe that trust is the foundation of a successful relationship, then I think you will have to tell him. Even though he is really understanding, don't expect to get the reaction you are hoping for. Expect the worst, and if things work out quite well, then you will feel much better having told him and got it off your chest. I don't know how I would tell someone that I cheated on them, and I guess there probably isn't a best way to break the news to someone. I would probably say that the timing is possibly more important than what you actually say, so try and ensure that you have his full attention, and that he is in a decent enough mood.

firstly, if there is no way that you would usually do this sort of thing, try to stop beating yourself up. with regard to telling him, it's a difficult one. it must be very difficult for you not to tell him if you have an honest and open relationship but then if you do tell him, how is he going to react? you don't want to lose him. is he likely to find out from someone else? you could consider not telling him if he is never likely to find out from anyone else and just put it down to a bad, drunken mistake and try to move on within yourself, without telling him. telling him because you want to be honest and open is fine, but there could be consequences. i would be tempted to not tell him, live with the guilt for a while and move on. maybe its not the honest way but if it meant nothing...?? good luck x

Hi, I would say you should tell him about this bec if he found out about this later by anyone else then he wont forgive you. Its better to say then to hiding the things from ur close ones.If everything goes in ur favour,you both will feel happy and ur relation would get stronger. Do reply.

I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years, He is the most amazing person you could meet and I know I want to marry him. I love him more than anything in this world. I am in university and he is not with me, and i was at a party one night and got very drunk. I blanked out. and woke up next to a boy who i am not attracted to WHATSOEVER. I asked him if anything happend and he said yes. Im scared to say i was taken advantage of, because I know that i should never have put myself in that position, but i cannot tell my boyfriend. I love him too much to hurt him like this and i cannot stand him never trusting me again. Is this ok not to tell him? I am so scared of losing him and i cannot sleep or eat from the guilt. i need some reassurance that this is ok.

Dear person- that sounds horrible but if I was you I would tell your boyfriend and just explain everything! You was taken advantage of, seriously you need to know that- you was not in the wrong- your only sin was getting drunk, then some arsehole decided he could fuck you while you was passed out or too drunk to refuse or remember- if i was you i would get an std test done and tell your boyfriend- tell him you got drunk-passed out and woke up with a horrible letch, tell your boyfriend you didnt choose to sllep with him but you was affraid you did but you only have his word on it! then tell your boyfriend where the bastard lives- then if i was you its your turn to make a choice: either watch your boyfriend comfort you and kill the raping cunt or if he goes mad with you get your stuff and go- your the victim in this and you need to be comforted not feeling guilty- I hope this has helped..... reply please i want to know your ok x lots of love to you. good luck x

hi i wouldnt tell him this time but is a snog cheating?if my husband did it i would call it cheating wot would u do if the shoe was on the other foot would u want ur b.friend 2 tell u and would u say he,d cheated on u or not and cold u forgive him

Obviously theres only two choices...tell or dont tell. I'm not a fan of cheating, but do understand that mistakes are made. Recently a friend of mine made such a mistake and I advised him not to tell. The reason I did this was not to stop his g/f from leaving him, but because the girl had already suffered enough during the last few rocky months in their relationship. Because my friend was so guilt stricken..it was sincere....I told him to save her the pain and let himself suffer with the knowledge that he'd been unfaithful....that it would be his cross to bear. I also told him that the only way to move on from his mistake and feel better would be to never EVER fail his g/f again. This of course is just my personal opinion....ever case and circumstance is different. If my friend had told her I really think his actions would have been to make HIM feel better....how is that fair to her? Forgive yourself..and don't let it happen again...your self respect and your b/f's is too precious to suffer a second round.