How do I fix what I done

im a 26 yr old guy and i was going out with my girlfriend for 10 years. we split up in march because of my own stupidity. after 10 years we finally moved in together in February(it took so long because i was working on the opposite side of the counrty and she was still in college and went travelling for a year) well after moving in we had the best 3 weeks ever, until one day while she was on my laptop she came across emails from a dating site. i never joined this site but somehow an account was set up for me, it must have got my details from facebook or something i must have clicked on. well my stupidity was that i never deleted it but in fact i started messing around on it and was messaging people. i never had any intention of meeting anyone from this site i was using it as nothing but a joke and a mess. some of the messages were very bad though. ill admit very immature on my behalf. well long story short my girlfriend left me. i attempted to explain everything to her but she was not interested in hearing it. we spoke on the phone a few times and met once but she kept saying that its over and that she is not interested in trying to fix things. but problem is i dont want to give up that easily. i know i have hurt her badly but i really want to fix this. we have not spoken in 2 months and i cant stop thinking about her. i am willing to do anything to try get her back. i have realised alot of things about myself since the split and one thing i have realised is that i was a very insecure and unhappy person(not with my relationship but just me personally) i had a lot of issues in my mind that i never spoke to my ex about. i was not happy when my ex went traveling and being honest i felt like she left to get a break from me, i realise now that this was my insecurities telling me that but it was something i never spoke to her about. also when i moved away for work, i was 2 hours drive away from her and although she drives she only came to visit me 5 times. (this was due to her college and work, but she always seem to get holidays when friends were coming to visit) this again was something that i felt a bit insecure about but never spoke to her about. After realising that i had this problems i worked on making myself feel better about me and who i am and i worked on my insecurities, but the one thing im missing in my life now is my ex. how do i show her that i am the right guy for her and that immature idiot who threw the relationship away was not the real me. how do i get her to first off talk to me and secondly forgive me and give me a chance to prove myself. sorry about the essay by the way just alot that needed to be explained. thanks

1. The fact that you say you don't know how you got registered on dating site sounds like bullshit. Don't dwell on that even if it is true. The fact is that you messed up big time and you need to fully accept that and be able to hear it without feeling upset with her or getting defensive. 2. Go to counseling for you issues. 3. Let her know you are actually doing something and stick with it. Not just on session but commit until you counselor gives you a sign you have progressed. 4. This does not guarantee that she will come back but you can't just beg her to come back without actually taking steps to change. If she doesn't come back at least you will be less likely to fuck it up next time. 5. Accept that mistakes are things you do not who you are