Too much fussing

My wife and I have been married 16 years. I'm 50 and she 43. We have a teenage son who has stress us both out for various reasons. The problem is my wife is always fussing either at my son or me. The other night she fussed at me for eating a snack with my hand and licking my fingers. I then played a joke on her by touching her with the opposite hand and she went off and grab my hand very tight. I told it was a joke and she still fussed so I called her simple minded and she has been pissed off at me for 2 days now because I refuse to apologies for calling her simple minded. She never apologies or accepts any fault. By her actions you would think I called her the "B" or "C" word. I provide very well for my family and my wife has it made - She's been a stay home wife for 9 years and she is provided for very well. We both are fit and very attracted to each other physically but we just can't get along and little things set her off. When I counter her fussing she focus on what I called her as opposed to her starting the ordeal in the first place. Keep in mind I never cuss her but I have called her crazy, bi polar, angry women, and immature - All justified by her actions. She tends to dominate all disagreements so I never get a fair shot at making my point so I become frustrated and may call her one of these names and when I do the focus turns to me calling her a name. She never owns the fact that she starts 99% of the issues by her fussing over little things. I do love her but I do not like her most of the times. I want to keep my family together. Any recommendations?

Sounds like you're missing something bigger and focusing on the outcome with pride. Next time try apologizing right away. Do you ask her how she is feeling or how her day went? Calling someone names never helps the situation, no matter what the names are. You could also try telling her that you hear what she is saying or letting her know, in a nice way that you wonder how her fussing makes you feel.