Broken up and working toward rebuilding

First, my girlfriend and I of eleven months broke up last month. This was my first relationship. She had been through many before me. Anyway, she has some insecurities about her appearance, as well as her self worth. I am sure most of these came from her parents and brother as she's told me of horrible things that have happened with them in the past. Some of these things are her mother telling her she wasn't worth the breath God had given her and many other hateful things, her mother throwing knives at her, her brother and uncle beating her in drunken rages, etc. These are very troubling things. It took me a while to come to terms with them. She told me nothing like this has happened in years. Her mother has since been put on medication to treat bipolar disorder, and her brother is in rehab at the moment. She now has a lot better relationship with her mother, but they still have their conflicts where her mother will say something hateful. However, that's as bad as it gets now. She still lives with her parents, by the way. Now that I've given you a background on what she's been through in her family, I'll tell you a little of her previous dating habits. She had planned to marry one guy she dated before me. They were together for about four years. Their relationship fell apart, and she told me it was bad for a while but she just wouldn't face it. They ended up breaking up about two weeks before their wedding date. After her relationship with this guy ended, she went through a horrible period she told me she hated herself for and wishes didn't happen. She dated a bunch of worthless guys who only valued her for sex. She had a one night stand. She continued to give sex to this one guy who was already in a relationship with another girl. She knew of that girl and made it her goal to win the guy from the other girl. That didn't work out, and she finally got rid of him. She told me about these things without me asking her. I told her I was sorry she had to go through that, but it's okay because she had came a long way and had much more self worth now. I was upset at the fact that she had been so promiscuous and had sex with these assholes who didn't care for her. I guess I was also a little jealous, because she's the only person I've ever had any sort of sexual relationship with. I told her how I felt, but I also told her I was glad she was with me, and it was in the past so we should move on. Okay, now I can get to our relationship. We started out as I imagine most new couples do. We were very excited, happy, energetic, passionate, and caring. After we had been together for about five or six months we began to have discussions on things we disagreed on. Some of the things we talked about were how she handled other guys flirting with her, how I viewed other women, how she was "working toward the goal of marriage sometime down the road" but that didn't mean she was ready or had a time limit, and how I was more focused on our relationship now and working to improve it... etc. So she began to kinda act distant at one point. I realize this is getting lengthy, so I'll try to shorten it. We talked about it, and she said she felt like we were fighting too much and the negatives outweighed the positives in our relationship. This was news to me, because I had not viewed our discussions as fights, but she did apparently. We agreed to work on it. After a few weeks, nothing really changed except she had gotten very distant. We almost completely stopped everything sexual, which had been a regular thing for us. She told me she used to be so excited about seeing me, but she had gotten to the point where it didn't matter to her whether we even talked on the phone. She said she was holding herself back due to fear of getting to into things and me not being on the same level. Once again, we agreed to work on it. Nothing changed. We ended up in a big argument and decided to break up, because we couldn't function. We were always arguing, and she acted like she didn't care if we even spent time together, not to mention there was no more sex. I was actually relieved. I was upset, but I was glad we were through torturing ourselves because nothing was getting better. The next day came, and she started texting me about things. She said she wanted to be together, but she needed to get her head on straight and she needed to prove to herself she could be happy before we could be in a relationship again. I told her I wanted to be in a relationship with her but not if she was always going to be depressed and negative and if she couldn't also give me what I needed, which was excitement, closeness, happiness, emotional stability, I want someone who would want me, and I also needed sex. She said she wanted all those things too, but she needed to get herself sorted out. I wasn't happy with her response, but after talking through things for another day she said that maybe our friendship was what was missing, and we agreed to work on that with the intention to get back together once we were able to get along without arguing and have fun with each other as friends. I am awkward with this. We've done fairly well the few times we've hung out since then, but I just don't function well as trying to be friends after being in such a close relationship with her for eleven months. I miss all the sexual things, I miss sleeping together, I miss making out, etc.She tells me she misses all that too, but she needs emotional stability with us in order for her to be able to give me those things without it just feeling like friends with benefits. She says she feels like things are going well, but I feel super weird. I mean I feel okay if we're doing something fun together, but if we're not doing something that's taking my mind off it all I can think about is grabbing her and making out with her and having sex. So I kinda just sit there awkwardly not knowing what to do. We both want to be together, but she's making us wait to be fully in a relationship until she feels we have a better emotional understanding. I have no idea how long this is going to take. She tells me she'd be willing to wait for me if I had a problem like this, because she loves me. I told her I'd wait for her, but not forever. Things needed to be getting better as soon as possible. We're both waiting for each other as far as dating and having sexual activities with others. Do you know what she could be meaning by needing emotional stability? I try to be there when she needs me, and not be argumentative, but sometimes it is difficult with this situation. Please give me some advice.

She has had a rough past and before you the only guys that she was with was ones that treated her poorly. She just hasn't gotten used to having someone like you there for her. Just give her time. & meanwhile make her feel amazing about herself. Treat her. Take her out to dinner and what not. Spend a lot more time with her. The more you guys spend time together the closer she will be to becoming good friends with you. Then going into a good relationship that will last. Just show her your not like those other guys who just used her for sex.