Breast cancer wrecking 3 lives

I need advice. In Feb. of this year I was reunited with my first love. After 33 years it only took him 3 hours on the phone to tell me he was still in love with me after all these years. I of course have had his senior ring in a box on my dresser all these years because I was still in love with him. We live 8 hours apart but have spent every minute on the phone and have been able to get together some on the weekends. Now the twist... He never married, but has been with the same woman for 24 years. He raised her two children. They were in the process of splitting up and he and I were making plans for our future. I had even started looking for a job in his area so I could move out there soon. However his partner suffered breast cancer back in "09 and it has metastasized into her bones. She was doing ok with homeopathic treatment (she refuses to take chemo and radiation treatments this time) and it looked like she was going to have several more years to live. Sadly that last couple of months her numbers have started to go up and she is getting weaker. As a result they talked and he decided that he needed to stay with her until she finishes her battle with cancer. She has the two grown children and a new grandson and a brother and his wife but that is all the family she has. He felt he needed to be there for her just due to their long history together. They were not splitting up due to anger or anything like that. They had just fallen out of being "in love" and for the last 10 years or so had just been pretty much roommates. He is a truck driver and actually works 5 hours away from home and is only home for less than 48 hours a week. She wouldn't move to where he was working since she had her long time job and their home where she is. They had even had separate bedrooms for the last 8 or 9 years. But at this point that really doesn't matter. What matters is that he has chosen to stay with her until she passes. She does know about me and the relationship he and I had started to build and has not cut off our contact but for obvious reason we have pulled waaaaayyyy back on our contact. I am a very strong person and will stand by him through this and be here when it's all over. He does love her just due to their history together, but his "choice" would be to continue our life together. I guess my question is how do I help him through this process of caregiving and the grief while trying to make sure that our future doesn't get derailed. I am still hours away but we talk nightly and text during the day. He feels free to talk to me about being scared for his loss, I just don't want to end up feeling like his crutch. I am his only emotional support as his family lives way off as well and he has only a few friends due to his traveling with work. So I know he needs me to talk to about all of this but how do we come out of this and be a romantic couple without all of this being in the middle? I'm so scared of losing what I've waited all my life for!!

Be just that...a ear and a shoulder for now. Out of respect for her and probably her dying wishes he has to stay. He seem to be a very special loving man to put a long love aside for the sake of a dying love. Most men would have just moved on. He's not lying to you nor her so that's a plus. Look at it as a test of faith. If you can be understanding about this then all else will fall in place. It would seem pretty selfish to have him leave her at a time like this. Let him know that you have waited for him this long and that you will still wait for him. When the time comes then be there...front and center. Patient and respect. You have to have that. This other woman needs him right now for something more serious than what you guys have planned. Not saying that what you two have planned isn't serious but she don't have much longer. It's sad for her family to know this. My advice is to still be there for him. Don't give up. He has a duty to complete right now. I really hope that this help.