Keep going back to my friend with benefits

Ok so met my ex friend with benefits 13 years ago when I was having trouble in my relationship so was he then I got pregnant with my boyfriend and we stop. Then 2 yrs later got together again then We stop again. Then I move out of town for about 6 mon came back ended up working together we hook up again. to make long story short we was hooking back up every 2 years so now this last time we hook up I'm single n he's not so I'm falling in love I didn't tell him that but I told him I wish we could be more n he said he felt the same way bit he just letting nature take her course.so he also told me that things with his girl ain't perfect but I seem her post his name on FB saying that been together 11 years n still going strong but I never see her she don't never come to our job or nothing n she's 8 years younger whr he n I are the same age so do I pursue this or just end we gotta special relationship but I hate to lose him as a friend please help me what do I do I stuck we have so many signs that we belong together but a lot negative signs to

A mans perception of a relationship is totally different than a woman's.. He may feel like its just okay but to her it's everything. Out of respect if you are truly friends, just let it be. If you hook up fine, if not just know if he came back to you back and forth this long he thinks you both have an understanding of what this is. I have been in your shoes, I had a friend w benefits on and off for many years, we never once had an argument or disagreement, it was always all passionate , great sex, that's all we needed from each other. That's an understanding. If you are not ready to lose him, don't approach this, do you and he will come around. You have that space to do you while his girl unbeknownst to her, you exist. So let her live her fantasy of perfect years etc. I can call or text my fwb anytime etc, we still hook up every now and then but I think it works because we give each other that space... It's not a relationship, it is what it is. Enjoy being single, you are not tied to anyone, enjoy doing you. Hugs!!!

Thanks for that it makes since I mean I hate to loose him as a friend he'd b there for me so many times it just hurt when u no it can't b more we no each so well I guess nothing's perfect!!!

That's the spirit... Keep him as a friend, get your benefits and go on your life. You have to think more about you since he is doing what he has to do. You understand that losing a friend isn't worth the hurt. I wish you the best of luck and love, who knows, you may meet someone awesome in your single life. That happened to me so I know it's possible.