Confused (and a bit tired)

This is a long story but I started dating my best friend November 2012. We started talking and stuff in July 2012. Technically speaking we weren't "best friends" we were just good friends. I would say through dating we became best friends. Anyway, we broke up May 2013. When we first broke up we did a short friends with benefits thing but I was not for it because I still had feelings for him and I am not about that life. Anyway once that concluded, we just went to being friends and he said he started talking to this one girl (she's an absolute sweetheart so I couldn't be too upset). After he told me that, I told him we shouldn't talk anymore and he seemed a bit upset but not really and suggested we not talk as much, but I caved and said we can just continue like normal. Recently, I have found that I am in love with him (I know its a bit silly since we dated for such a short time) and I tried to distance myself and he will not allow it. He'll say stuff like "You can't leave me", "Don't leave me", once he even texted me the lyrics to Taylor Swift's "You belong with me". But its all because I'm his best friend. Now I understand how important best friends are but this seems a little excessive and inappropriate for an ex-boyfriend. Well I finally wrote him a letter explaining my feelings (I'm in love with him) and saying that is why we should cut off communication but he wouldn't have it. I was hoping he would understand but he doesn't. He won't let me go (and part of me doesn't want to be). And it is my fault because I keep talking to him but I just don't understand why he is so adamant. Also, he recently got upset and when he's upset he pushes people away and I thought well here's my chance to end it, but he instantly changed his tune and was begging me to stay. I was like you have tons of other people to talk to, I included the name of the girl he was talking to and his former best friend who he liked for years and he informed me he stopped talking to the one girl and he displayed a distaste for his former best friend (because she only wants him to buy her things). He just keeps saying "no", "I don't have anyone", "I can't go on without you", but I am friends with the people he has been friends with for years so I don't know what he is talking about. What's really odd to me is how nice he is...like nicer than he was in the last 3 months of our relationship. He is more attentive and actually listens when I talk or text him. He wouldn't beg me to stay so adamantly back when we were dating. And sometimes he'll say "You're so sweet" and "You're a sweetheart" which I find inappropriate for two exs. And when we hang out together I keep my distance but he doesn't seem to get it, this last time was the most interesting... I asked him to come over and get this salsa I made (I didn't want it and it was left over from a party) this was right after he got upset and pushed me away and we had been arguing about it all day. I invited him in, put the salsa in a different bowl and gave it to him expecting him to leave. He didn't he stayed which is cool. Anyway, he sits on the couch and I give him some chips to eat with the salsa and sit on the floor. I tell him its okay to eat on the couch but he doesn't want to mess it up so he sits on the floor. I try to sit far away but he gradually gets closer to me (not super close but moves closer). We then go to get food and come back. He sits on the floor to eat again and to get away from him I sit on the couch. When he is finished he sits on the couch and we start watching youtube videos. He gets closer and closer. He keeps trying to touch me like high fives, and touch his rough skin (I told him before I don't like to be touched AND I deny him but he insists I give him that high five or touch his rough skin). Also, I was wearing shorts and they had ridden up a bit and he tries to pull them down and for like the fifth time that night I'm like "don't touch me". At like 3:45 am he says I have to go and to mess with him a bit I say "give my regards to your new friends" and he gets really sad and mopey and begs me to be his friend again. And then he leans back, rests his head on me, and asks me to scratch his head (I only did that when we were dating because it always led to make outs). I did it, but occupied myself with tetris at the same time. He then gets up and out of the corner of my eye I could have sworn he was contemplating kissing me (he did the thing he does when he wants to kiss me...then again I could be seeing things). I just ignore it and he keeps getting uncomfortably close and saying "just be my friend again", "don't leave me", "you can't leave me" and he tries hugging me and I move away. He gives up and goes to the door to put his shoes on and this topic continues. And I tell him the truth...that once he finds somebody new he'll toss me away like toilet paper and he counters that with "you can't live without toilet paper". I just don't get why he won't let me go. This argument has continued and he's like I just want us to be like the friends we were. I just give up and I’m like okay we are all good (because he literally makes me feel so guilty and I hate hurting him). I just don't know what he is thinking. I think I maybe over thinking the whole thing and he's just trying to be a good best friend but it just seems sooo overbearing, excessive, and weird especially since he would barely want to hug me after we first broke up. I just want to get some insight on what he might be thinking. Sorry this is so long, I just want to get every detail out there so I can get confirmation that I may in fact be insane lololol.

Nice wall of text, learn to write in paragraphs and then come back.

I tried to format in paragraphs. How do you do it?

Hi Aw, site admin here. When entering text into the text box, you just need to press enter a couple of times, and the cursor will move down a couple of lines, thus creating a paragraph. I looked at your post in the database, and it looks like you tried to create paragraph breaks by entering a lot of spaces at the end of each section, but the section splits you were working with were based on the width of the text box you were completing, and not how the text ends up being displayed once your post has been submitted. Anyway, I've also made some changes to the formatting code for all posts, and this should help take care of things whether people enter spaces to create breaks, or use the enter key. Thanks guys for flagging this up so that I could look into it.

It\\\'s ok .