Becoming numb toward my husband

We have been married a year and one month now. We began dating in 2010. We decided we would be honest with each other from the getgo and bring our true personalities to the forefront as much as possible so we would have an idea wat we were getting into. He has changed now. And I understand that. But what bothers me is in the few months after we got married, he was not anxious about me like newly wedded men are. I looked back at the wedding pics and he hardly ever smiled. There is not one ounce of pride in his facial expressions (pride as in him being proud to be married to me). Sometime this year I decided to look up my past boyfriend on facebook. I was surprised to see that he had gotten married too, to a past classmate of mine. He looked so happy and proud in his wedding pics. Its been 6 months and he stills posts boastful comments about his wife on facebook. My husband never did that. As a matter of fact last month his friend came over and he read a list of things he was looking for in his future wife. and he made the comment that I had all those qualities and that my husband was lucky. Instead of supporting him in this statement my husband quickly disagreed and pointed out one of the qualities i didnt have. That really hurt. I dont know what to do but pray. I try to talk to him but he says I'm trying to control him and he sighs heavily when i come to him with an issue. I dont tell him much of anything anymore. I cant take the hurt. He throws things I tell him back in my face almost every arguement. So I try not to tell him about my fears and stuff like that. When we have a disagreement he always fails to be fair and admit when he was wrong. I used to admit when I wronged him but now I dnt anymore. I think it makes me look weak. I hardly have friends and my family is irrational. So God is the only one i get to talk to bout these things. I write but sometimes that doesnt suffice. Which is why Im here. I am 25 years old and I am sad. Even if i separated or got divorced my life is destroyed because God hates divorce and well who wants to be friends with a female divorcee. Thanks for listening.

I can feel your pain. I once was in a relationship where I found my self feeling i was caged up.You feel that if you get a divorce God will look down on you. God is a God of understanding and he forgive. you need to be happy. one thing I found out in the bad relationship I was in is I hurted so bad I was blind. I new I had to get out of this but didn't know how so I prayed. then I open my eyes one day or should I say God open my eyes. I could do bad by myself.I then knew that I can stay here and hurt for a long time or I can walk away and hurt for a short time and heal the way God want me to. So I did walk away after a 7 year relationship. I learn from that. I did get back into church.I did fine someone that loved me for me. If I would have stayed in that relationship I wouldn't have found that person I prayed for. you are young and you have a good heart. you need to be with someone that will welcome that and return it. You think God want you to hurt and be unhappy? No. Be a strong woman. I tell my daughter that also. you need to be treated like the lady you are. Don't let anyone take that away from you. hold your head up high and go find what you seek.its there but you have to go get it. it's ok to hurt walking out.it's better to hurt for a short time then hurt every day. that pain of walking out of a dark space will go away just don't stay in it. You deserve respect be strong go get that respect.go be happy. life is short. you are 25 take your time and let God give you that gift of love that is in someone you seek.there is people by the way that is friends with a female divorcee. don't let him put things in your head when you know it's not true. God bless you so go be that strong lady.If you know God and I feel you do. pray in faith and you will end up with what God promise you. he is there with you as we speak.