My boyfriends mum is too involved

I've been with my boyfriend for over 4 years now, we've had our ups and downs and she's been involved in all of them. She doesn't cause it but she gets really involved, I send him messages and I ask him to delete them as I am a very private person. If I tell him something I have to tell him not to tell anyone. When we're out she calls to find out what we're doing, what he ate etc..she calls him a lot. We were in a long distance relationship for s while and when we'd see each other she would be calling which o think interrupted the very littlt time we had together. Other occasion I've been at his house and a conversation I thought was private she would be eavesdropping and join in. We came to the point where we were going tp live together, we put a deposit down but didn't end up going through with it, she was completely against it. Hr wanted to move out but she phoned me and said he's not ready to movr out making me feel guilty. If we're meeting up she will text to say if I can meet him later so he can rest. She controls so many aspects bog his life and he is 22. Its making me question our relationship as it doesn't feel like our relationship but his mother's. If he buys me a present then she has to know about it. Its really frustrating and I don't know what to do. His mum having do much control over his life makes me think of him as a boy and not a man. I want a man not a boy.

You need to tell him these feelings.

Hi Tiffany! Your relationship with this guy lasting for 4 years surely speak of something. I'ms rue you love him that much in spite these observations you still went on and continued with the relationship. This concern about his mom meddling on things should be handled with him. Does he know you feel this way? tell him what you think and expect that he'd react defensively btu keep things together and just let him know that you are going this route because you want to clarify things because you love him.