Need advice

How to describe my problem without it turning into a book. I have been with my wife for 18 year and we have 3 kids together. She has been diagnosed with active Crohns disease for 17 years and for that reason she has not been able to work out side of the house. Now she has watched her family’s kids throughout this time frame and I am well aware that watching kids and being a stay at home mom is no picnic. So here is my issue. I am active duty military and the sole provider for my family. Since coming home from this lasted deployment I get the impression that my job doesn’t matter anymore. I am told when I should go to work and when I should come home. Now for the most part my job is from 0430 wake up 1 hour and 45min drive, I work 8 hours and drive back home. When I get home I help with the boys, help pick up put out any fires, then try and relax before going to sleep. The problem is when I'm at work she wants me to leave all the time and I can’t do that. When I tell her I can’t leave or take vacation she tells me that the Army is more important than her and the family. What I try and tell her is that nothing is more important that my family. But it turns into a big fight every time. I am unable to give my wife the attention she requires and support my family. Can someone tell me why I should have to apologize for working and trying to do the right thing?

being at home all day can be lonely, and i guess she wants your company. perhaps she is suffering from depression? maybe you could take a few days off and find out what is really going on inside her head. is there any chance you could go part time due to your wifes illness? does she have any friends of her own? maybe she needs to join a social group. good luck xx

yes she is suffering from depresstion and we have tried counseling both individual and couples with no relief insight. My wife is unable to take medication. There is no option to go part time. The only friend my wife has are familey members which come by everyday. When suggested to volunteer just to do something to get out of the house and interact with other adults this responce is met with great resistance.

can she take some hobby class and do something from home where she can utilise her free time and can make money,some craft

she can do something from home small business what are her hobb painting,cooking, she can teach people,learn or study in her free time time,can make some money too,she is low in confidence,she can try doing things from home,her depression will go

in my opinion, she knows she has a problem and she feels like her problem causes you to suffer or maybe she feels you don't love her anymore so you use your job as a way to be far from her and her problem. maybe she thinks that she is not as attractive for you as first time you meet, try to tell her how much you love her, talk about your feelings about here problem. make her sure about your love for her. buy some thing not expensive things some thing to show her that you were thinking about her when your not home. call her during that 8 ours if you can.make her feel she is important to you as your sons. are you sure that you are not tired of her?

I must admit from reading you story your wife probably is craving your undivided love and attention. I know it's difficult for you but she does need you more than ever. Work and money are what we need to survive, for sure. In my opinion 'money can be more hassle than its worth. Being with someone who you love, and who loves you back is priceless. Ad if you both have that...enough said. Life is too short. Hope your future works out for the best.