Risk or stability

I am 23, and I've been dating a 33 year old for the past 4 years. He is my first boyfriend, and things have been fine for the most part. But there have been times when I question wether I really love him, or if I'm just scared to lose him. In the 4 years, there has been at least twice when I find myself wanting to leave him, so I can try dating other guys. One of the two times I did leave him, for about a month. To persue another guy, who is 20. Within the first week of leaving the 33 year old, things with the 20 year old didn't work out cause his family didn't like my family. I stayed alone for a while but then found myself back with the 33 year old. And it's been about a year since all that happened. But now the 20 year old is messaging me again, and says he convinced his family to accept me. I am confused about what I should do. The 33 year old makes me happy for the most part, but there are times when he makes me feel like shit. He's constantly reminding me about the time I broke it off, and also calls me on other mistakes I've made. Another thing is that he's the one and only man I've had sex with, but he's not too good in the sack, he fails to satisfy me orally, and they only way I'm satisfied during the actual intercourse is when I'm on top. The 20 year old makes me feel special, and I'm deeply attracted to him, and I feel like I'm more comfortable with him... But I fear that those feelings are only cause its new with him, and I'm worried about the fact that it may not work out with him, and I would have left the 33 year old foolishly to persue him again. I don't know if I should stay in the stability of my 4 year relationship with the 33 year old, or risk it with the 20 year old.. Please give me some input. I'm losing my mind!

you cant have both,think longterm who is better for you,future with ,i feel that if you really loved your first you would not go for other,dont waste his time,think carefully