Sexually frustrated with my husband

So my husband and I have been together for 7 years. When we first stared dating I was all for the sex thing, however it was awful for me. I did it to make him happy and even pretended that I was actually enjoyed it. I kept telling myself that hopefully he will get better in the bedroom, but instead it has only gotten worse. I have sex with him only to please him, but get no pleasure out of it what so ever. i have to find alone time for myself. I am now just flat out frustrated because I want to be satisfied by a man. 7 years is a long time. I don't know how to tell him without creating a big fight or hurting his feelings. This problem is taking a toll on my marriage because I get mad about little things and find reason to fight just so he want ask me for sex. Any advice on how I should handle this situation?

you must tell him quickly but fighting is not the answer,counseilling will help him

The lady fail to tell what actually makes her to not sexually satisfy with her husband. she would have be more open.

Hi! I'm sorry to hear that you are having problems in the bedroom. That can be very frustrating, I know. You don't say anything about why it isn't working for you. What exactly makes it so awful? Also, having good sex together is a learning experience. You have to find out what the other person likes and learn from each other. You are saying that you only had sex with him to make him happy and that you prentended to enjoy it. In what way do you imagine that will help your husband understand your desires? Maybe he is very willing to learn and adjust and you just haven given him a chance? What you have actually done is holding out on him! To resolve this I think it would be a good start to actually come clean. You have obviously not been fair with him but sometimes these things happen, after all we're only human. Wouldn't it be great if you could tell him that you're sorry, but you haven't been honest about how you feel about your sex life and then tell him what you fantasise about? I know you are frustrated right now, but try to do this without blame. Just be true to your feelings and tell him how you feel. In other words don't say "You are the worst lover known to man" but rather something like "I feel our sex life isn't the way it should be and I would really like some change". I hope this was a little bit helpful, that's what sprung to my mind when I read your post at least... Best of luck! :-)

Go have sex with another GUY this will help & I mean it......plus this is not cheating till you got caught....go give some fun to your body & you too after that you'll definitely love your husband's presence in bed. Don't feel guilty, go nuts.

VAIB120... I think that is terrible advice... of course it is cheating if you encourage doing something like that without the other one knowing anything about it! I'm sure it's possible to justify it to oneself and find ways to not feel bad about it, but adding more factors to the equation just increases the complexity of an already difficult situation. I for one would have a terrible conscience if I did something like that. I'm not judging those who have an open relationship. Personally, I don't believe it's healthy, but I can understand that some people want to have that. What I don't believe in is not being open about who you are and what you want in your relationship. If for some reason sex is so utterly and terribly bad that one half can't get his/her needs met something needs to be worked out in mutual agreement. Then it's a matter of finding out how big the need is and how far one is willing to go to see that need fulfilled.

FIRST NOT JUDGING @SPACEBANANA BUT We live in a culture that doesn't admit that women need sex every bit as much as men, if not more. Conservatives like to put women on a romantic pedestal. Women are virginal and sexless. Feminists deny women need men for anything. "Women are made to feel guilty for needing men," people said. "We're told we're weak, co-dependent or lacking in self-esteem." But I say WHY ????? I am not saying that go on the road,pick any random GUY you see and start doing it(we are not animals) just pick somebody you like/(he likes you equally) in office,friends etc. Go on a date and then decide(After all you are a girl any Boy/Man will love to go out with you) The goal of any discussion between a couple about how to make their sex life more enriching and satisfying should be to create an ongoing dialogue. Even if couples discuss their sexual desires, satisfactions and dissatisfactions successfully and find solutions for spicing up their sexual relationship, their work is not done. They will need to revisit and adapt their sexual practices throughout the lifespan of the marriage if they wish to have a satisfying sex life over the long haul. And as @UKNOWHO77 already said she first started dating it was all for the sex thing, however it was awful for her. And she wants to clearly wants to Break things PLUS SEXUAL FRUSTATION is not Good for her health. I hope this was a little bit helpful Best of luck! :-)

@VAIB120: I know you didn't say I wasn't but I just want to say I'm pro sex for everyone too :-) Women should feel no guiltier than men about wanting sex - and lots of it. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't do something that betrays the trust and that you know will hurt your partner in your relationship just because you are frustrated.

when my boyfriend and I were in bed it was HORABLE but that was only the first few times , then the other couple times it was AMAZING then we ended up with our daughter that I'm still pregnant with ;)

but, plus thats what we did , not every couple stays toghter for 9 painful months , but I've only been pregnant for 4 months

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I agree with other posters here., If a girl/woman mentions she likes certain things in sex or she wants more sex, some people think she's slutty.

Hi, I understand your frustration - I can relate. I think the best thing you can do is the thing you already know you could be doing, but aren't. It's a tough first step, but I think it will help you a lot here. If you want to approach him and are afraid of the backlash, try and pick a time when he's in a relatively good mood and it seems like you can approach him. Tell him that you've been really struggling with something for a long time, and you think it would be best if the two of you talked about it so you could try and work it out (saying this lays the groundwork for open, honest, and constructive discussion instead of an argument). Sit him down and talk to him about how you've been suppressing your sexual desires in the relationship. Tell him that it's hard for you to enjoy it at all anymore. If he reacts negatively, there won't be much you can do. You will have to be brave about this and realize that you still tried to make things better, you wanted your relationship to improve, and that you did nothing wrong by approaching him. He may come around and realize that he needs to chill so you can talk. When that happens, you can further discuss why it is that you feel like your desires aren't met. Go into detail - tell him that he comes on too strong, maybe he has a lazy approach about pleasing you, etc. and make sure you continue to express that you think all of this is fixable, and that you are willing to try. My advice after having this open conversation is to continue practicing this habit of openness. When you are having sex, tell him what he can do; practice saying what you want. You seem so considerate of pleasing his needs, and that is wonderful. But remember that you need to continue to ask for your needs to be met, because obviously, it's making you struggle so very much. If it doesn't work out, I wonder this as well - is he aloof and not very emotionally present with you as well? In this case, you may be struggling with a deeper issue. It's not my place to say so, but if he seems to echo this inability to please you and meet your desires sexually, I instantly wonder what else he might not be doing for you. If this is the case, it's easier said than done, but you will want to leave. I know it's hard to do when you've invested so much of your life into one person already. You might try everything until you're so worn out that you have to leave, which is understandable. Just know that there is someone out there willing to please you as much as you are willing to please them. Hope this helps, and take care.

PS If he is willing to work on this, remember that the positive change you are looking for may not happen overnight. Stay dedicated about expressing your needs. Also, if you continue to discuss and reflect upon your sexual experiences while always taking it a step further, you will find that you are steadily improving and will, in time, be happy with the results. Best of luck to you

ack! one more thing. If he is unable to make you happy in other areas as well, it's not that you should necessarily leave, but try to talk about those things accordingly - tell him you see a pattern and you really want to talk about it. <3