Gf doesn't trust anymore

as long as i was able to get online ive looked at porn. recently through my hiding and lying about it i was found out. since then ive not had an urge to look at porn or any "riskay" items(swimsuit,bra n panties, etc.). i realized my foolishness and ignorance of what i was doing to my gf and changed my way cold turkey. since then ive lost most to all trust she had in me. i tell the woman i love and want to marry everyday how beautiful she is, how much i love her, etc. she has installed a key logger program on our computer. which is fine i get that, keep tabs on me. yet with all my effort she still, to me, does not trust me and assumes im lying or hiding something with every accusation from her. every thing was going great and i thought i had "saved the ship" with my actions and want to better myself for me and for her. just last night she said this page i liked on Facebook called "bender" (the robot from futurama) has been posting lude pics(eg. women in bra and panties, ass and titties, etc.). when i liked that page all i saw and knew was it was a fan page for the character, i have not seen any of these certain posts shes talking about. anything i tell her, like i said before, she will not believe although im telling the truth. since she found this out she decided to refresh the deleted things on the computer(im assuming she used her key logger program) and found things from a year ago (porn) sent to my friends through pm's. weve already talked and shes yelled about how i was looking at porn most of our relation. ive already been yelled at about my ignorance but when she goes "snooping" with her programs shes downloaded she always seems to find something out of nothing. i dont know what else i can do to make things better and to me her feel secure and safe again. as i said i have not looked at anything nor hidin(deleting my carbon footprint) anything from her since she found out. i have no reason to look at that smut anymore. my eyes were opened at what i have and what i almost lost and still may. im trying my damndest but i dont know what else i can do. im at a loss fighting the same arguement that i thought had mostly been resolved. shes knows im not dumb and i know she netnanny's and keeps tabs on what i do. everythings logged in that program and she still thinks im doing shady things. please any suggestions

she is suspicious and you are secretive,u both need to change to make it strong.

Relationships are a very tricky thing. One key thing in all relationship each person should be entitled to there privacy, there should be a degree of yourself that have just for you to live or else you will be leaving the life for your significant other. As for trust this is something that is earned you gave her too much power in the relationship to install a program, you should have never done that there are ways to build back trust in a relationship and that was not in. You can reassure her everyday, you can do sweet things to show her that she can trust you. A man should always be a man in a relationship and needs that feeling of masculinity, and your woman as well should respect that and if she loves you as you do her, your word to her along with your actions should be good enough to prove to her that she can trust you. Most important thing though WE ALL NEED A DEGREE OF PRIVACY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP not for wrong pruposes but because you need to keep a sense of who you are or else you will lose that into what the other person wants you to be. Yes what you did hurt her and may be wrong to her but still does not mean that it's unforgiveable or gives her any right to barge in fully to keep tabs on what you do or did years ago. Stand firm let her know you love her but remember as a man you need that sense of being that and incase you thought a man was saying all this i'm a woman and I say this as this is what I do for my man. He cheated on me yet I still give him the space he needs to live, just as long as he ensures i'm happy and respects me

KIMMESE, thanks for the insight. is there any other words you could lend me on what to do about the invasion of my privacy? i dont want to lose this woman but as of late it seems she doesnt want this to work anymore. ive found sites for women(guy porn) on the computer now. i assume this is a retaliation toward what i did. eye for an eye works sometimes but if she truly cared i would think she wouldnt retaliate like that. i havent kept tabs on her, ive trusted her, she does whatever she wants with no respect for my feelings(ie, if i disapprove or dont want her to go somewhere or do something she will anyway). since yesterday the thought has crossed my mind...is this all worth it? like i said i love her to death and want to marry her but if this is how my life is going to be...i cant take that constant watching and accusations for what may be the rest of my life.

Hi. Im six months pregnant with my fiances baby and just found out my partner has been doing the same as you only hes was really women on a dating site. Im hoping I can give u some insite into what ur gf is feeling and maybe you can do the same for me. Right now I feel betrayed I feel like im not good enough and how can I ever trust him again. I love my fiance so much I trusted him with everything and he abused it I used to look at him like someone who wouldn't dream of doing that to me and now in the space of three minutes all that trust has gone n I feel like our whole relationship has been I lie. I dont want to lose him I don't think I can live without him but I also don't know if I can ever trust him again even though he has said the same as u (it was a stupid mistake u realise now n wish u could take it bk) but funnily I believe u but not my partner n u both have said the same and u both sound genuine but the pain we feel is so strong we are so scared (what if we trust you and we are wrong) that is what is going through your gfs head, she doesn't want to feel like this but she cant help it. She probably drives herself crazy worrying but its because she loves u so much. I dont think u should say u need more privacy as it screams alarm bells to her just say u know how much u have hurt her and u understand that she has every right to feel the way she does but the constant accusations are getting too much its getting u down and it just reminds you of how much you have hurt her and it needs to stop because its tearing u both apart and your scared there will be a point where u can't take any more. I hope that I have helped u to understand how she must be feeling. Can u please explain why u felt the need to do it in the first place as my partner said it was like a habit or addiction. He tried to stop loads n lasted three days max n found himself at it again. Does that sound like anything u went through?

I too have this problem bur its not porn. RA and panties and what bothers me most is 19-24 year holds my man is going to be 50 I didn't really have a problem until 4 friends or relatives told me do you know what he's doing on line he does it at home while I'm at work we have been together 8 months got back together after 30 years were even married in early 20s been remarried had kids and got together anyway I started checking phone got caught one nite had a fight because his ex wife contacted him on Facebook I saw it he lied to me said she poked him when it clearly was in activity log he did he erased convoy then told me what she said well 3 days ago he put security code on phone I hated him put didn't saysaysay anythingsay

This is tough, because you have a long track record of this behavior - and when she found out about it, no doubt she was deeply hurt and lost a lot of trust in you. However, she didn't leave. You seem to have already decided to change your behavior, but now are struggling with the after effects of losing the trust of your girlfriend and having to gain it all back. If you are steady in your improvement, you may have a hard time dealing with knowing you are doing better and not having her believe it, but she eventually might trust you again. That is where her part comes in: she is going to have to practice trusting you as you reassure her of your honesty. If you do all you can do and she still doesn't believe you, it won't be your fault, but hers that the relationship can't move forward - in which case, you will have to move on. I do think, however, that she might be willing to practice trusting you again if you be patient, be kind, and reassure her when needed. Much <3 and best of luck.

Ps: breaking up with her because she can't find a way to trust you isn't something to decide too quickly, or you both might regret it later. This is a trial, and if you're willing to stick together and make the best of it (you both have to have this attitude), then it could still work out for the better. You'll have a deeper and more meaningful relationship because of it if you can find the way through this.