New and struggling

Hi i am caz 27 and would like to share my problem.....my fiance and i have been together for 4 year and in the first 2 years everything was a bit crap....when i got with him i sensed he wasn't over his ex and he was lying to me telling me he hates her no longer has feelings for her but cares coz shes mother of his 2 kids which that i was fine about...i went INSANE coz my mentalness was badly messed up from my previous relationship...that ex was HORRIBLE it'd take me a long time to describe everything but anyway my ex put me through hell and he strung me along for 2 years when he wasnt over his ex so as you can imagine i know the signs so yes with my fiance my behaviour was all over the place i was really messed up that people was going to call a mental hospital on me but i agreed to go to the doctors and have therapy.....so anyway in 2011 my worst fears were confirmed i found out my fiance beat up his ex-friend (not a close friend) got with his ex he was so heart broken and angry and was cruel to me and pushed me away and kept lying to me and keeping me in the dark...everyone knew about it but ME i only found out by listening in on a conversation but i knew deep down it was over her anyway....so he threatened to kill his friend ended up on remand in prison for a week got thrown out of court and then put more effort in to me...........thats not the only problem.........in 2010 i accidently fell pregnant and he gave me an ultimatum so i was made to get rid of it and on the day of the abortion he showed no support at all and when we was in the taxi home i got him to agree to lock the door so his friends doesnt come in and that he'd look after me....well on this particular day his kids came round with my fiances friend and they only ever come on a weekend but this day wasnt the weekend it was during the week and he let them and my fiance abandoned me in the bedroom all by myself and alone and my fiance , his friend and kids was all laughing and having a good time on his xbox...it was so heartbreaking....he made me ONE hot water bottle and just threw it on the bed and ran back to his xbox game i was so so so so so hurt it's 2013 now and i am not over everything he wants me to believe he loves me and he has tried to show since 2011 but i just dont feel it.....i know hes completely over her coz his hatred is real now he cant stand her at all i can really tell the difference......but he hurt me so so bad..............what do i do? we rarely have sex because i was raped 9/10 year ago badly...by my ex so i worry thinking its only a matter of time till my man does what all my ex's did........cheat........he doesn't seem the type and many people have told me doesn't cheat and that hes not like that.......he goes on about hes the most empathic person he knows but when it comes to the hurt hes put me through there was no empathy at all........he tells pointless lies often as well....usless with money....we NEVER go anywhere.....but he's also very loving and affectionate attentive and a lot of compliments......he wants to marry some day.....oh and i resent his kids..................sorry about the lack of commas and stuff but i'm just typing fast to get it all out before i go to bed.......thanks for reading x

hes abusive,get out