When is it OK to cheat?

I have been in a relationship with my partner for 14 years. We have 2 kids & get on well most of the time. Since we got married & had kids her sex drive has lowered to a point of non-existent. We rarely have sex at all & when we do she wants it over quickly & makes me feel terrible i.e. like I am forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do....My sex drive is extremely higher than hers. To cope with the situation I turned to pornography to cope with the lack of sex / my urges but she found my stash & keeps throwing it up to me & calling me a "pervert" etc. I have raised the topic of our lack of intimacy several times over the years & have tried to initiate romantic situations, asked her if she would like to try new / other things & have offered to go to counciling & every time it is raised we agree to get our sex lives back on track but it NEVER happens. After years of this I was starting to self doubt & become disgusted with myself & started comfort eating & putting on weight. It is depressing & stressing me & has led to me drinking a lot more than I used to. It is genuinely affecting me in all aspects of my life. Our relationship is that of good friends who share a house & have two great kids. In recent months I have grown close to a female friend. She is in a similar situation sex wise with her partner. We both have discussed our attraction to each other & know we both would...My question is should I go ahead & have the affair or is there ANYTHING I can do to improve things with my partner???? RSVP PLEASE

cheating is never right,why dont u and your take coun ,to better your sex life.If this does not work get out of this marriage,its not working .

I agree with Kaamini - you don't want to cheat at all. It shows a blatant disregard for the way someone else has put their trust in you. Since the marriage seems to be crumbling and is affecting your daily life so negatively, you both need to be thinking about what so desperately needs to be done, and that is some counselling for your sex problems and the other problems in your relationship. Intimacy is better between two people if they are sharing a great bond. You have some problems connecting with each other and being understanding, good and true friends to one another as well as husband and wife. You want sex because I think you want to feel closer, while she avoids it for reasons which I can't seem to clearly understand (it could be anything from a lack of confidence or needed more support from you as a friend, a husband, and intimate partner.) If she is not willing to make it work with you and sort it out, you'll know you did the best you could as long as you tried. Thing is, you don't want to risk never knowing whether or not she wanted to make it work because you cheat. If you can put your heels in the ground (it must be both of you that want it greatly), you can make your relationship come out better than it was before everything hit the fan like it is now. Back on the subject of the friend you like, think of it this way: are you falling in love with her, and not infatuated with her just because you have sexual problems in your relationships right now? Meaning, do you feel like it could go beyond simple sexual contact? If you fall for this kind of quick scandal, what are you going to do after it is over? You could be single-handedly destroying a lot of things in your life by choosing to cheat. Best of luck and take care. I hope this helps.

please don't rush into anything with someone else . tell her how your feeling! tell her you need her and love her but things need to change . it is a bitter pill to swallow for any women but give her a choice. once you step over the mark there's little chance of going back. chances are there'll be no return especially if you cheat with a mutual friend.

Im in same situation me and my ex gf of 15 years with 2 kids ended ip like friends even,though i still love her like no ones buiness finished it with me. It killed me especialy when i found sextexts on her phone to some guy dating back when we were together.It was pretty obviuos shes fallen for some one else and i cant stop thinking bout t 2 of them . What im trying txoo say is dont cheat if you feel any thing for your wife. If you cant sort things out then maybe break up nicely if thats possible thats what my ex wanted sick bitch. There will be to much hurt if you fall for someone else while still with your wife