33 years wasted

hi, i have never been on anything like this before. but i am really depressed/ i was with the same man off and on for 33 years/ we married once and he divorces me because i wanted a car he was trading in. we started living togather again, an i helped him get his va benefits and medical. i quit every job i had cause he asked me to. now that i an older i have no health insurance and need medical test done. when i suggested getting married so i too could have health care he turned it down flat. no i have no home, no money, no job, and no health care. i have spent the last 3 weeks in my van. but when anyone ask why i left he says he do not know. how am i to go on from here. i am ready to end all my pain and suffering

Ok every time I have thought of suicide later I realized that it was just a bad patch. Now you are going through a terrible patch. You must love this man to go through all that. I can not tell you what he will do. I think you might start by going to a shelter and having them tell you what is possible to get back on your feet from where you are. I am sure there are ways to handle the immediate crisis if you are living in your van with health problems. Then think about the kind of life you can make by yourself from here on and do it. Don't depend on someone else because they will do what they will do. First you have to get on your feet.