confused and hurt

hi id like to start by saying ive never spilled my problems on total strangers before but if i dont get some advice soon I think ill lose my mind! Ive been married to the same man for fifteen years its been to say the least an emotional roller-coaster after a year and a half of being together he announced that we were no longer going to have martial relations [sex] same year we had a huge family barbeque where he proceeded to call me fat and unattractive in front of the whole family mostly his relatives you could imagine my humilation to make matters worse some of his relatives were amused by this and started to laugh!He has kissed other woman in front of me Im convinced he's cheated on me and he still berates me makes me feel stupid, unattractive ,and unwanted ive been on depression medication because of him,just last night he told me he goes away and leaves me home alone because he cant stand me he does all these things and proclaims to love me he even tried to sleep with my own mother he has dropped me off at my family's homes for weeks at a time and he's a crack addict ive stayed with this man for fifteen years throughout all the abuse because I believe marriage is suppose to be forever ! I guess my question is should I continue to stay or should I leave he says he loves me but I dont feel it to me its just words I know people reading this are gonna think im nuts but I was brought up with a religious background that taught us marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment anyway if I could find someone on here to help me sort this out id appreciate it ! thank you so much for listening ! sincerely darbygirl32

i like how much you care and want to make things work but really you are unhappy. the most important thing in life is to be happy. i am 19 and how mad this would seem to most i have fallen in love with a guy i met online. i have never got along with anyone half as much as i do with him i realised how bad things were before and how much abuse i have previously had and am glad i left all that behind. i would say for you that you should leave, no one should treat a loved one like that not even as a 1 off occasion if he really loves u he would not be like that hope you find happiness soon best wishes Galaxy Angel

I really feel your pain :( I too had a 16 year relationship full of emotional,physical and mental abuse and stayed for the children,believing this was best for them .. I was wrong :( I did leave him eventually and now know how controlled I was .. I am with a lovely man and you too need to be strong and stop making exsuses and leave him before you waste your whole life .. There really is no way anything will change and if your ok with your life being treat like a dog then ok stay :( best wishes xxx