Oh god...need help, like now!!

I'm married, 7 yrs! Not happily all the time, sometimes...it's very complicated! The problem is after 20 yrs my first love ever has made contact with me and says he has loved me this whole entire time, although we have had seperate lives, children etc etc...hearing from him has thrown me thru a loop, he wants to visit me and see if we still click, I can honestly say right now I do love him too, always have deep down! What to do next is hard, do I meet with him and hit it off like old times or do I stay with a man whom I'm not in love with but do love in a way and have financial security and all the rest of it! I so wanna meet up with the first love but I'm so torn too! Please help me, any advice would be good or something , has anyone else been here?

It's sort of different, but I've been dealing with this issue lately. One of my two first loves was a girl, and we had a really weird off-and-on relationship throughout the years. My other first love was a guy, who I married. Recently, I found out that she was living near us and, although she and I have always had a weird friendship which might make meeting complicated, I discussed my feelings with my husband. It really helped a lot, although I think I'd still like to be friends with the girl. It's probably more of a threat to your husband's pride that it's a guy. However, I would absolutely say to meet up somewhere safe for a coffee. If you don't, he will be forbidden fruit and you will want him more than if you had just gone and had your coffee with him (kind of like how if you eat one slice of cake you're satisfied, but if you tell yourself you can't have one then you end up spending days pining for it and eventually eat three!). Who knows, you might find that he's not the same guy you know. But hey, if he is...love is what it is. Worry about that IF you feel the same old tingle.

dear u will have to choose with your choice..choice means with all logics and negative postives balancing...and also think the bottomline in case of security in future ..try to think slowly with ur brain...forget about the love...find out other benefits putting a side a love ....give ur self a time and find out some good positves of ur husband...do u have kids....arora 09716532678hgwt3

Hi Confused Much, I agree with the first respondent, tell your husband about it. See how he reacts. Don't meet with the old love first. Your husband may very well be relieved and see this as a way out of a relationship with you. He may also react in a way that will help you to better understand what you are risking by meeting up with your old love. More information always makes for better decisions. You need to know how your husband would feel. Honesty in a marriage is key. You have a child together and no matter who you end up with you will be much better able to live with your decision if you did it above board and not having done it dishonestly. Your relationship to your child has to come before your needs. That means being honest with your husband about the meeting.