Help please

where to start! me and my partner of seven years are having problems, i have a serious trust problem and cant get it out of my head that he doesnt love or want to be with me, he has never cheated that i know of but he has txted other women arranging to met up that i found on his mobile, i resently found out that he was sending dirty txts to one of these girls which was a few years ago now but he only just addmitted it to me, i also dont trust him on the computer because everytime my back was turned he was straight on the porn lies after lies, because of all this i feel low in my self. we have had a history of voilence so i dont feel i can talk to him bucause he flys off the handle which is horrible, so i just sit misserable with my two young children, i eat alot to comfort myself i surpose then it makes me gain weight and makes me feel worse, and snappy. i just dont know what to do please can somebody help me with this problem?

first of all, realise that this is not ur fault. he doesnt sound like he is doing anything to help the situation does it? i can imagine how u felt seeing those messages..did u confront him bout this? thing is, trust is very difficult..esp is u hav been hurt in the past. but he should try and reassure u..and make u feel good about yourself. it sounds like ur very unhappy and almost scared of him...thats not right. the violence worries me too..did he ever hurt u? coz the problem could just be him, not u! regardless of whether he has cheated or not..he should be spending more time making u feel special then on the computer and texting silly girls.. heres some advice - STOP comfort eating..spend some time on u - make urself feel good about u... do some exercise, put a lil make up on.. even if its 20 mins out of ur day.. let him see ur self confidence come through and see what a good woman u are, and how he is lucky to have u. go out with ur children to the park get moving and if ur snacking eat healthy things and put ur energy into gettin ur confidence back. then u should stand up to him, u should at least be able to tell him how u feel. u should never feel scared of ur partner, and he should never respond by flying off the handle. rise above his behaviour online - he wil never meet this porn girls..jutst laugh at it.. things like porn are not worth getting upset over at all, theres no competition from these girls who prob wouldnt look twice at ur man anyway.. u deserve to be loved..if he didnt want to be with u, i doubt he would stick around for 7 yrs, can i suggest u even speak to ur doctor, as there may be an underlying problem here..u could have mild depression - which really can be sorted out with exercise and eating well... go on girl!