Opinions required - please

I have been dating this guy for about roughly 20 odd months or so and like any other relationship; we have had our ups and downs. But recently, things have become a bit rough and we are just not able to see eye to eye. The catalyst was the new guy that started sitting next to me at work. Generally, I am not the type of girl that talks to anyone given my shy nature, however if the person is sitting next to me for the entire day then it’s a lot easier for me to become comfortable and have a conversation with that person. So, this new guy and I have been chatting quite a bit and I use to go home to my boyfriend and tell him about my work day, however, I use to talk about this guy a lot since he made up the bulk of my work day other than my actual work. Nevertheless, by the 5th day, my bf made it pretty clear that his quite uncomfortable listening to me talk about this guy and felt like I had a crush on him. Which I feel is absurd and very far from the truth. He was also quite annoyed though, since the day before he told me this, he and this guy spoke at a weekly social event that we attend and he realised that this guy knows quite a lot about myself in the 4 days we sat next to each other to which he became a little uncomfortable with. Again, something I do not understand since I sit next to the guy the whole day, it’s not like I intentionally share my life and it just comes out in conversation. And his argument is that if you sharing your life, you want to share with this guy who you are and then he’d eventually see what I (my bf) sees, then his going have to deal with another person who’s in love with me. And I honestly don’t believe that this would be the case, given this guy has a girlfriend who he has been dating for a year and says his very much in love with. My bf and I have had history with this topic because now and again, he’d tell me to stop talking to a guy because his just gonna end up liking me which I generally found absurd since he feels every guy will like me, however, the ones he told me to stop talking to did go a little weird and I stopped on my own accord because it was just causing issues in our relationship. But I can’t take that assumption with every new guy I meet, that’s also a little ridiculous. Anyways, given he told me to stop talking about this guy I just assumed he didn’t wanna hear about him. The following week after our social event, it kinda slipped out that this guy that I sit next to and I have been for lunch DURING WORK HOURS together, one time we were alone. However, when it slipped out, I felt really guilty because I never mentioned it to him that we had lunch together since I just assumed he never want to know! This however, did not settle well with him and he lost his crap since he took my guilty look for something else. Now, I never believe lying in a relationship is justified, however, I just thought I was protecting him by not telling him. I did not do anything and I will not do anything, I am not that person!! But he took the lying as an act of treason and ever since that day, things have just progressively gotten worse...Since I also came out with another time I lied (I’ve only lied TWICE!) and that was when I went with his creepy boss (who he told me not to talk to) for coffee since he emailed me to say let’s discuss career opportunities and at coffee his boss became and a little creepy to which I told him never to contact me again and left. I went for the career opportunities conversation, yes I knew he was creepy and highly flirtatious with me, but I ONLY WENT FOR THE CAREER OPPORTUNITIES convo, when things went south, I left! My bf felt that I was now also jeopardizing his professional life by doing that. Anyways, fast forward to the present. We are now at the stage where he feels that I do not love him. Since our compromise was that with the guy that sits next to me, we won’t go for lunch off work premises together but going for lunch to the canteen is okay. And the next day, my bf comes back saying this is all too weird. Compromising for his gf to go for lunch alone with another guy is just too weird for him. Since, you shouldn’t be compromising on **** like that! His argument is that ordinarily he would have never minded to begin with, if I never speak about this guy or if this guy never knew a lot about me or if we never have an issue around him such as lying that we went to lunch together, he would have not minded. But since there’s so much drama surrounding this guy and now I am fighting to at least have lunch with him, that concept scares him. But I could care less if I have lunch with the guy, my argument is, just don’t tell me what to do. And the reason he says this is because he has a lot of female friends however one time I got jealous with one of them and he just cut all association with her to prevent making me jealous. I really do not see how having male friends translates in to me not loving him or respecting him.

Hi Mozk It sounds to me that your bf is VERY insecure. Jealousy in a relationship is a killer as eventually you become resentful of it and it wears you down. It usually get worse and worse as the relationship continues. Its a form of control too. Thats NEVER good !You soon find you are walking on egg shells which already seems to be the case with you. You already kept some information back from your bf about your lunch with your work colleague. You shouldnt HAVE to do that, but it is totally understandable why you did since 1,your bf told you specifically he didnt want to hear you talking about this guy, 2, You didnt want the hassle of the friction it would cause, and 3, you were protecting your bfs feelings because you know he has a jealousy issue. Have you explained why you with held this information from him? I feel he is being unfair that he is accusing you of lying. It wasn't a LIE ! you just did what HE requested and not talk about him. Talk to your bf and explain his jealousy needs to stop. If he doesnt start to change his ways , I would seriously consider the strength of this relationship and whether it is right for you .